The Engagement

Cameron and I have known that we want to get married for a while. He asked (well, tried to ask, but that's another story) my dad for my hand almost two weeks ago and we pretty much immediately started working on picking a date and colors and things, but we didn't want to go around telling people that we were engaged before he'd officially asked me. Let's just say that by the time he proposed I was more than ready to say yes.

On Thursday night we were just hanging out and he asked if I would like to go on a date next week. I thought for sure that's when he would propose then. When he was leaving he VERY casually asked if I'd like to go hiking with him the next morning so he could build up stamina for his Elders Quorum activity on Tuesday to hike the entirety of Timpanogos. I said yes before he told me that he'd be picking me up at 6:00 am. Good thing, too, because it was going to be the best hike of my life.

Friday I woke up at 5:30, after a whopping five hours of sleep. I thought vaguely as I was brushing my teeth that he's a pretty sneaky guy and might be trying to throw me off by asking me on that date for next week. I quickly brushed it aside, not because I thought I was wrong, but because the last thing I wanted was to get my hopes up only to be disappointed when we got back and I still had no ring on my finger. At multiple points throughout the hike I stopped him to point out the view and give him a hug and a kiss, and I'm sure he was getting frustrated with my dragging pace, but he didn't show it. I didn't know we were trying to do anything but get to the waterfall and turn around.

The hike was absolutely beautiful. *(I LOVE nature, especially trees and animals so this hike was perfect for me. As my mom puts it, if a woodland fairy would like it, so will I.)* Almost the entire trail was covered by beautiful green trees, there were hundreds of butterflies and honeybees, we even saw a family of wild turkey, a few chipmunks, lots of birds, and a doe! So, needless to say, I was having the time of my life.

We finally got to Stewart Falls it was an amazing. The sun was out, the air was warm, the water was cool, and the view of the river and canyon was spectacular. In the back of my mind I thought, "this is such a romantic spot, he should just propose to me right now."

He must have read my mind because a moment later he sat me down on a giant rock and handed me an envelope. Inside was this: 

Each page was a dated journal entry of memorable days we'd spent together (all written on staff paper.) *(we love reading books together)* The second to last page was this...

And that's when I was sure he was going to do it. The last page, though I wasn't quite sure what it was at the time, was lyrics to a song he had written for me, and they were so, so sweet. Then he asked if he could ask me a few questions, the first of which was, "may I have this dance?" *(we tend to spontaneously slow dance to non-existent music)* 

As we were dancing he asked if he could sing a song for me. *(We love singing, especially together. We met through choir.)* He started singing a beautiful song, the one he wrote for me, and I started... well I'm not sure what to call it. It was somewhere between laughing and crying, but I didn't have any tears. My shoulders were definitely shaking though, and I just had my face buried in his shoulder. Then he finished the song, pulled back a half step, and walked me backwards the few feet to the rock where I'd been sitting before. He sat me down and reached behind me without me noticing, and pulled the ring box out of his back pack. 

As soon as I saw him on one knee holding the little wooden box I started really crying. When he opened it and I saw the ring my hands flew to my mouth and I started sobbing. It was the most beautiful ring I'd ever seen. I immediately noticed the leaves and vines and knew that he knew me and loved me. *(He picked the ring all by himself)* Then he asked me one more question:

"Will you be my wife?"

I, of course, said yes. Then he asked if he could put the ring on my finger, and of course I said yes again. He slipped it on and stood up. I kissed him and held him and told him over and over that I loved him. He was crying, too.

Then we continued to cry and and laugh and look at the way the ring sparkles in the sun. Then he looked at his watch, looked me in the eye, and said, "Dana, four months from today, at this very moment, we will be waiting in the temple to be married!" *(We'd already picked our wedding date, November 20th)*

It was the most absolutely perfect proposal I could have imagined. I am so in love with him and I can't wait to be married in the temple so we can be together, not just "till death do us part," but for all eternity, even after we die. I am so grateful for his kindness and faith and love. It is so wonderful to have this constant reminder on my hand of how much he loves me, and how we get to be together forever. 

I get to marry my best friend.

5 days down, 119 to go ;)

My Angel

Every so often we are blessed with angels in our lives. Pretty frequently, at least as far as I've been able to physically see, those angels are mortal human beings, like you and me, who happen to be living close enough to Christ to know what he would have them say and do. I have been blessed over the past few months to have one such angel in my life. Today he promised to love me forever and asked me to be his wife. I said yes!

Thank you Cameron for always seeing the best in me and helping me to be better. For always supporting me and standing beside me, for loving me unconditionally, being willing to talk, and for being my best friend. Thank you for the tears of joy (shed on my doorstep because it was after curfew,) for the scriptures and insights shared at all (and I mean ALL) hours of the day, for sharing your light, for holding me close when I am scared or sad, for giving me your best and seeing the best in me. Thank you for honoring your priesthood and temple covenants and responsibilities. Thank you for sharing my goals and helping me to reach higher. I love you with all my heart. November 20th HERE WE COME!

Always Looking Out for Me

God is always looking out for me. Several weeks ago I decided that I really needed to make some kettle corn, which is done by putting popcorn, sugar, and salt in a pot with HOT oil, caramelizing and melting the sugar, and it is delicious. Unless you do something wrong, which I'm still not sure what that was last night, but the sugar started burning before the popcorn was done and some of it popped and stuck to my face as I was attempting to save it. So I had molten sugar hardening to my cheek, hot oil in my eye, AND burnt kettle corn. I ran to the sink and began trying to wash the the sugar off my face, which had already blistered, when I looked in the mirror and realized everything was blurry in my left eye. I looked closely and saw a spot on my cornea where it had been burned. Despite the mascara running down my cheeks, the pain that was probably twisting up my face as I endeavored to see, and extreme embarrassment, I went into the living room where three guys from our ward were sitting, explained the situation, and asked if they could give me a blessing.

They did this, and I was told that in due time the pain would subside and my vision would be restored. I went to bed with a bag of ice on my face praying that "due time" didn't mean very long.

The next morning I was a wreck. I couldn't focus my left eye, it felt like I'd burned the underside of my eyelid when I was blinking away hot oil, and I'd pealed a few layers of skin off my cheek with the sugar and popcorn. But lo and behold, my lovely roommate had made breakfast for her boyfriend's birthday and had plenty of extra so she shared with me and the other roomies. So sweet.

There was this boy named Cameron who I really, really liked and it was his birthday, too. I was supposed to go hiking with he and his friends but I did not feel in any way up to the task so I called him and said I'd have to cancel. He told me that the whole trip had been cancelled due to his suddenly becoming rather ill (with what we found out after several weeks and 2 trips to the doctor was bronchitis) and he wanted to stay home and rest as well.

I had already made a birthday present for him, so I gathered it up, determined to walk the one and a half miles to his house to give it to him because he was sick on his birthday, and I just really wanted to see him. But my body had other plans. I lost all energy and the will to open my left eye so I lay down on the couch and resigned myself to at least an hour of napping...which never occurred because he called shortly thereafter and said he was on his way to my apartment. On foot. To see me, on his birthday, when he was sick. He said he just couldn't stand to be inside any more and he'd promised to visit his cousin, but it later came out that he really just wanted to see me. ;)

He came over, we held hands (not for the first time), and he asked if I would like to keep dating him and only him. Let's just say I was ecstatic. We both went to the doctor the next day and I was told that my eye should be perfectly healed within the week, and was WAY ahead of schedule for a burn that severe having happened so recently.

Let me just say, the Church is true, priesthood is real, and our Father in Heaven does hear and answer our prayers. Not only pertaining to my healing, which was really miraculous, but also in his helping me find Cameron, who has already answered so may of my prayers just by being himself.

It's been forever....

Sorry that it has been so long since I've posted, life has been CRAZY!

And by crazy I mean wonderful.

I have so much to be grateful for. All of a sudden I can see the Lord's hand in the vast majority of my struggles over the past several years, and am so grateful for this newfound perspective. I have never been so happy in my life and I hope that I never lose this sense of wonder and joy.

On another note, I've been trying a different form of gratitude journaling. There is a website called gratitude160.com where you can have text messages or emails sent to you up to 3 times daily asking you what you're grateful for. Your responses are recorded (securely) online and a weekly log is sent to you by email eat the end of every week. You can also access it any time you want by just going to the website. Sorry if this feels a bit like an advertisement, but I'm just loving doing this. It helps me to consistently be more in the mindset of being grateful, and opens my eyes to more of my blessings as I try not to say the same things over and over.

I'll try to catch up on my blog posts, but it may be difficult as my family, Cameron, and I are going on vacation to California! It's going to be so much fun, not to mention he gets to meet my family... not sure if that goes under fun or not, but if he still likes me after 15 days of being stuck in the same place as ALL of us then he's definitely a keeper! haha.

♥ My Little Sister got Baptized ♥

This past week my little sister, Elizabeth, got baptized! When I originally made the decision to stay for spring and summer terms, I was really upset that I would have to miss this special day and moment. I still wish with all of my heart that I could have been there in person to give her a hug when she came out of the water, to help do her hair, and to sing with her and the rest of my sisters.

This isn't what matters, though. What matters is that she made the choice to be baptized, to covenant with God to keep his commandments and to look after his other children.* And I, through the miracle of modern technology, got to see the whole thing. Yes, my dad skyped me from his phone so that I could participate in a little way even though I was 2,000 miles from them.

I am so grateful for my family, and for the sacrifices that they make for me to be here. I'm grateful for Lizzie and for her example, and for the love of our Father in Heaven.


*Just some background for any of you who are curious why Lizzie waited until she was eight years old to get baptized:
In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we believe that Christ's atonement, where he suffered for our sins and died on the cross and was resurrected, automatically covers the sins of all those who sin unknowingly. We also believe that He payed for Adam's fall, so we have no "original sin," and are therefore completely innocent until we are old enough to understand the difference between right and wrong. We believe that this ability develops around the age of 8 (a fact I actually heard scientific evidence for in my human development class, but can't remember who said it).
Understanding the difference between right and wrong is so important before baptism because it is not only a cleansing of sins, but it is an ordinance wherein we covenant, or promise, with God that we will keep his commandments, take our Savior's name upon us (we will do our best to be like Him and behave in a way that represents Him and reflects well on His church), and that we will always remember Him, in everything that we do. In return, the Lord forgives our sins and sends the Holy Spirit to be with us. Before we can be baptized, we need to be able to know and understand the covenants that we are making, so that we can keep them. This is why we wait until we are eight years old to take this step.

If you have any questions about this, or any of my other beliefs, feel free to leave me a comment! You can also click this link here. Have a lovely day! :)

Pure Joy

I haven't been so happy in, well, ever. At least, not that I can remember. The funny thing I'm coming to realize is that I've always had the potential to be this ecstatic. My life has not gotten any easier AT ALL. I'm struggling to finish assignments well and on time, I'm losing things, I burned myself really badly, my credit card expired and my new one hasn't come yet, the list goes on and on. The only thing that has changed is my perspective.

Cue Boyfriend. ( I promise there's a point to this tangent.)

A little over a month ago an incredibly cheery guy decided to sit next to me when Men's and Women's chorus were singing together in a BYU devotional. I was having a really bad day but I tried my best to be nice. He asked for my number, friended me on facebook, but I didn't think much of it. Then a week later he asked if I'd like to go on a walk with him on Sunday afternoon. We got to talking and I realized that he had such a light! (see previous post.) He was so optimistic and we have a really similar way of seeing the world. I hardly stopped smiling the entire time I was with him. Something about his love of life and optimism was just contagious. So long story short we started seeing each other pretty frequently and going on dates until we decided that we didn't want to date anyone else and that's where we are now.

So, tangent aside, his light, spirit, and optimism have really made me want to be a better person. I saw how happy he was and when I realized that he wasn't ignoring sad things, they just didn't bother him because of how much he loved everything else, I decided "I want to be like that, too!" So, I have. I am utterly full of God's love, I do my best to recognize the little wonders all around me, and share my joy with everyone I meet. I must say, I feel fantastic. I haven't been more in love with life for such an extended period of time that I can remember, or been filled with so much gratitude.

On a side note, I've finally figured out why I couldn't go to Nauvoo! It's because, if I had gone, I would  not have had this wonderful life changing experience, or get to be dating this amazing man. Hallelujah. :)

Light

A few days ago I went to the temple with my friend Cameron (not my brother) and, while we were there, had the opportunity to reflect on the concept of light. The light I'm talking about can't really be seen with our eyes, but is more of a spiritual phenomenon.

In the scriptures Christ told us that he is the "light and the life of the world." Other places in the scriptures, as well as modern day prophets and apostles, talk about the light of Christ. I think that the closer a person is to God in behavior, desire, and communication, the more of that light he or she is given and is able to show to the rest of the world. Some people obviously "shine" brighter than others, and the more in tune with the Spirit you are the easier it is to detect this in others.

So while I was in the temple I saw a lot of youth (kids between the ages of 12-17) and it was so wonderful to see how many of them had such a light about them. They truly shone like angels, as did my friend with whom I was there. He is such a fantastic example to me.

I am so grateful for all of the many people in my life who have the light of Christ with them and do not "hide it under a bushel" (Matt 5:15). I hope that I can learn to share my light with others and help them to feel God's love for them in the way that I have been helped and strengthened.

Thank You, Adam, for Sharing This:

Adam Young (aka Owl City) is one of the more spiritual people I've never met.

Yes, you read that correctly.

He genuinely has the spirit with him and is not afraid to hide it--his heart is completely open. I always feel uplifted after reading his blog or listening to his music. I thought this entry, as well as most of them, was really touching.

A Heart Like His

A while back, in the middle of a rather emotionally difficult trial, I realized that I was closing my heart. I was trying to block out the pain and anger I was feeling, but all that the walls seemed to be keeping out was love and joy. I was utterly apathetic. I hate being apathetic. I'm a really emotional person, and so to feel nothing is strange and uncomfortable and depressing. I like myself best when I smile at myself in the mirror and sing no matter what I'm doing, not being the sullen, jaded, spiteful little girl I occasionally let myself become. The morning after I discovered this and decided that I needed to change my heart, a girl in Women's Chorus gave us a beautiful devotional. I don't remember what she said, but the spirit touched me through her words as she told us about her experience reading a book, A Heart Like His by Virginia H Pearce, and told me that I needed to open my heart, I needed a heart like my Savior's.

After the devotional we began to rehearse. We were singing an arrangement of the Hymn "Lord I Would Follow Thee," with two new verses.

Stir my heart with love's compassion,
When in weakness I withhold.
I would heal as thou hast healed me,
Comfort, strengthen, and enfold.
Stir my heart with love's compassion,
Lord, I would follow Thee.

Precious, fleeting is my time here.
Whisper wisdom to my mind,
Courage when my heart is aching,
Faith when fear is all I find.
Precious fleeting is my time here,
Lord, I would follow Thee.

As we sang them, tears started to flow as I felt for the first time the truth and importance of those words.   I could finally feel. I knew that my Father loved me, that I was the one that had pushed him away, and I needed to change.

It was difficult at first, to try to allow the walls to fall, because I was certain that the first thing I would feel was pain, but I was simultaneously given love and joy. I found myself smiling and singing again, and it was lovely. It was also hard, and I still felt rather hopeless at times. Although I felt that I should stay in Provo for the summer I almost gave up and went home, because it is so nice to be taken care of and surrounded by family, and so hard to feel alone, but God gave me the strength and courage I needed to do His will as I asked for it.

It has been a long road, and I know there is still a very long way to go before I can even come close to having a heart like the Lord's, but as soon as I let Him in, He has been with me every step of the way and giving me comfort. I love Him, and my Father in Heaven so very much, and I am so grateful for all that they have given to me.