Refocus

Lately I've been a little self centered and materialistic and focussing too much on the things that I don't, and probably can't, have. It's disappointing to say the least. We all want to have what we want, it's natural. What's hard is accepting that we can't have everything we want and really embracing that fact. That's the part I'm having trouble with. So, I am once again rededicating my efforts to acknowledge the things that I am grateful for in the hopes that I can shift my focus from what I want, to what I have.

I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father and Savior who have given so much for me, and the rest of our Father's children, for the sake of our happiness. I'm grateful for my faith in them, that no matter how frustrated I may be with the differences between our plans and ideas of what would be best for me, I never doubt their existence or even love for me. I really have been quite selfish lately and I'm sorry to the few people who read this if you don't enjoy it when my blog turns into a journal, because that is probably what will happen for the next little while as I try to overcome this little bump in the road and get back to being a deeply happy me, instead of this obnoxious grumpy one who has been inhabiting my body for the last little while.

I'm disappointed in myself for not being able to overcome this trial more quickly and move on, it's really not a huge deal, and I suppose this is why so many people are pessimistic and never get their hopes up, because it really stinks when you let yourself expect something and then are let down. It's tough. I don't enjoy it. So now we've come full circle and returned to the fact that I intend to be more grateful in everything that I do. . . The End. :)

Nom nom nom: not my usual kind of post

Tonight I was craving Cafe Rio, but lacking a car and having a full refrigerator of food that needs to be used by Thursday before I leave for Christmas break, I decided to stay in and try my hand at recipe inventing. Ok, I didn't completely invent it, I borrowed ideas from this blog. I really quite enjoyed it!

The change I made from my normal tacos that surprised me the most, but also was, in my opinion, one of the best additions, was putting brown sugar on the chicken along with the taco seasoning, to give it that sweet, savory flavor.

The rice was also completely different from how I normally make it (rice, water, done.) I added butter, garlic powder, and lemon juice to the water before I cooked it, and then added lemon juice and sugar after it was done. I added too much of the last two ingredients, and it was a bit too sweet, so I added a pinch of taco seasoning to tone it down, and once it was paired with the chicken and lettuce, it was sublime.

The lettuce actually muted the other flavors a bit, so that's a good thing for me to remember for the future. I also added some crumbled up tortilla chips to give it a little crunch

So, basically I'm really proud of myself and plan to add this to my repertoire. Thank you for listening to my bragging.

here are some pictures :)

My lovely creation... I'm not a food photographer. Just a not-humble-enough, very-pleased-with-herself girl.

My apron that my Grandma and I made together this summer. I quite like this as well :)

oh, ps I plan to make these after I study a little bit more. So excited!

Finals-- study break

just a few random thoughts I'm jotting down so they stop floating around in my brain while I'm trying to write. Plus trying to stay positive during the 2nd craziest week of the year (I would argue that the week before finals is actually worse because you have your normal class schedule, plus reviews, plus studying, plus excitement for break, plus end-of-the-semester fatigue)

1. "stressed" spelled backwards is "desserts," which shows that by baking when I am stressed out, I am logically doing the opposite of being stressed. I knew there was a reason :)

2. I am really glad I ran into Ashley in the library so I didn't have to eat alone when it was lunch time. plus she's just awesome.

3. I get to go home in FOUR DAYS!

4. BYU's pretty cool, minus finals

5. If I finish all of my finals by Wednesday night, I am allowed to watch psych with my friends. If not, I have to stay in the library and study. If that's not motivation, I don't know what is.

6. random observation: there's not very much snow on the mountains

7. another RO: glittery nail polish chips faster than glossy

8. The library is actually quiet here :)

9. The library and my apartment are nice and warm, even when it's cold outside.

10. I should probably go back to studying.....

There's So Much to Be Thankful for

I am so blessed to have so many good friends around me when my life doesn't go as planned. It is seriously so nice to not be left alone to wallow in my disappointment (except for when I'm studying in the Library :P ) I was rejected for an audition that I had really hoped to at least go to callbacks for, and had been really excited for, and so I was pretty bummed to find out that I don't get to go. Despite my sadness, I seriously had someone supporting me from the moment I found out.

First it was the nice guy I sit next to in English who offered to let me borrow his computer to read the email when my AirPort quit, and then walked me halfway to my next class to make sure I was ok. After that class I ran in to two very good friends who I rarely see, who gave me big hugs and were totally sympathetic.

After that I had a break from class so I decided to go to the Creamery and get supplies for cookies, because baking is what I do when I'm sad. It was nice to be able to just go for a walk, and the anticipation for the cookies was quite exciting. My last class was latin, and I got to dance Cha cha with fun guys for almost an hour, which was fantastic and super fun.

Instead of going straight home, I talked to my family for a bit, and then snuck into the Men's Chorus rehearsal with a few friends, just to listen. Oh, how I love Men's Chorus! They always brighten my day.

When I got back to my apartment I was greeted by a BIG hug from my wonderful roommate Brianna, with whom I ate dinner, watched a CHEEZY Hallmark Christmas movie, and made cookies! As the rest of my roommates came home they were all so sweet and kind and kept assuring me that it wasn't because of my talent level that I wasn't accepted. I went to go to a friend's house and watch my favorite TV show, Psych, and my friends there were just as fantastic, giving me lots of love, encouragement, and snuggles.

This morning, I woke up with a package sitting in front of my door, filled with my favorite candy and snacks. Taped to the front was the sweetest card from my wonderful roommate Rachel and her boyfriend. It was a great start to my day.

I went to campus to study, and for some reason was having trouble being optimistic. I was down on myself, and low on faith. I texted my good friend Nathaniel and asked if he'd be willing to go get ice cream with me, and he said yes. He gave me the biggest hug and was working so hard to make me smile, and I really appreciated it. He payed for my ice cream, despite my protests, and then took me bowling. When we finished our game he pulled me out onto the lanes and started swing dancing. I think that was probably the biggest I've smiled in a while. I LOVE spontaneous dancing.

After we were done we went caroling with with some of the members of Men's and Women's chorus in Brigham Square, and it was super fun... and that was about the end of my happy related things for the day. I had to go back to studying and test taking after that, but I am still sooo grateful to all of the people who have been a part of lifting me up and not allowing me to sulk around feeling sorry for myself. I love you all :)

my new mantra

It is better to look up.

This phrase comes from a talk from the most recent General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. If you haven't read it, you definitely should, even if you aren't LDS. The entire address has such a bright message of hope, and it makes me happy.

I've been having a few minor setbacks lately that I am, stupidly, allowing to bring me down. When I catch myself thinking sad thoughts, I try to remember to look up. Even if you take this literally, it helps. The simple act of lifting your chin is the opposite of what we (or at least I) naturally want to do when I am sad, and therefore helps me to feel happier.

What makes it even more helpful, is the spiritual implications of looking up towards Heaven. To think of the love that God has for us and of his great goodness and the plan that he has for me makes me so happy. Then to go beyond that and seek his guidance, trusting that everything will work out the way that he desires, is so comforting. Even though I sometimes am selfish and wish that his plans conformed to mine, I am always happier when I banish that thought and bend my will to his.

I am so grateful for this perspective, and for my faith so that I can trust that nothing that will disrupt his plan for me will happen. I love Him so much, and am so thankful for all that he has given to me.

money, money, money, money

I am so, so very grateful for my parents and my family and that they take care of me. I'm kind of a black hole for money at the moment, what with going to school, living out of state, and not having a job, and my wonderful parents are currently paying for pretty much everything. In my defense, I did give them almost all of the money I made over the summer, but that was just about enough to cover the independent study courses I enrolled in.

I'm so grateful for the sacrifices my family makes for me, especially my parents. No matter how little we had growing up, they always made sure that we had enough, and never let us know how little there really was. They always made me feel that a roof over my head and food on the table would be a constant thing and, despite wearing hand-me-downs and rarely going out to eat, I never felt as if I was at a disadvantage.

I'm grateful that even in our time of greatest need my father still showed compassion to those who had less than us, and gave all he could to anyone he met in real need. He is such a good and kind man, and has the biggest heart.

Missionaries: still grateful :)

Once again, I am so grateful for missionaries. One of my oldest friends left on his mission yesterday, and although it was hard to say goodbye for two whole years, I am so proud of him. He is going to be a fantastic missionary and I can't wait to hear from him (we will be able to write letters while he is serving.) After preparing for several weeks in the Missionary Training Center in Provo, he will go to Stockholm, Sweden and the surrounding area to serve teach the people there about their loving savior, and offer them the opportunity to come into the fold of God. For more information about LDS missionaries, click here.

I am so grateful for this gospel and the peace and assurance that it brings into my life. I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the true church of God on the Earth today, and that through the teachings and ordinances of this church, we can be saved and return to live with our loving Father in Heaven. I am so grateful for the knowledge and testimony that I have of my Savior and his plan for me. I love him so very, very much and I know that he loves all of his children individually more than I can possibly hope to comprehend in this life, but I hope that some day I can greet him face to face and thank him for the amazing sacrifice he made for me.

For more information about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, go to mormon.org, or click the pink button to the right that says "my faith".

It's the little things

I'm grateful for the little things in life that make me smile. Dance partners that show you super-cool moves when you're practicing for a competition, sun on a cold day, a boy that walks around campus with a HUGE boom box on his shoulder playing happy songs at obnoxious volumes, people dropping candy tied to mini parachutes off of tall buildings, you know, the little things.

One little thing I've loved seeing the last few days is the motivational quotes written on the landings of the 4 story-ish flight of stairs I have to walk up in order to get to campus every morning. Let me tell you, when you have a backpack full of books and a laptop it is not very much fun. Some sweet soul, however, wrote really nice things in chalk on the ground, making the climb much more pleasant. I unfortunately didn't have my camera with me, but they had phrases like "great job!" " lookin' fine." "Almost there!" and it made me smile, which is not something I usually do when I'm climbing those stairs.

Men's Chorus

I just realized that even though I love them so much, I have yet to write about the wonderful Men's Chorus here at BYU. Why do I love them so much? Not only do they make beautiful music, often incorporate dance, drums, organ, cello, and other of my favorite things into their performances, but they have the spirit. And really ladies, what could be better than 200 righteous, singing men with beautiful voices and testimonies to match?

(me with the oh, so fabulous president of Men's Chorus,

wearing our respective choir t-shirts)

Women's Chorus

Once again, or I suppose as always, I am ever so grateful for Women's Chorus. I love the music that we make, the sisterhood we share, and the strength we can offer each other. I very, very rarely leave feeling down or upset with myself, although I'm generally kind of sad to leave. All of these are wonderful, but my very favorite thing about Women's Chorus is the spirit and the testimony that each girl brings that allows us to have the Holy Ghost with us as we sing, and to share our testimonies with others.

This past week we were blessed with the incredible opportunity to sing with all of the BYU audition choirs at devotional when Thomas S Monson, the President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and Prophet of the Lord came to speak. It was such an amazing experience. The spirit was so strong, and I received a stronger testimony that Thomas S Monson is in fact a prophet of God who receives revelation on our behalf and who loves us. I love him, although I have never had the opportunity to meet him in person. I am so blessed to be a part of this wonderful community at BYU, and to interact with the people in the choirs, and to sit at the feet of prophets and apostles and be taught the words of God. I am so grateful that I was able to get in to this university and Women's Chorus and to have all of these wonderful experiences.

My wonderful cousin ♥

Today I had the WONDERFUL opportunity of going to my cousin's mission farewell. He is such a wonderful young man. We love to give each other a hard time about pretty much everything, but he is seriously such a great guy and he means a lot to me. He's always there when I actually need him.

The last time I actually spent a significant amount of time with him (about 2 years ago) he was going through a rough time, his testimony wasn't incredibly strong, etc, etc, but when he gave his talk today I knew he was ready to go. He has felt the reality of the love of God and found his testimony, and I couldn't be more proud.

I love you Josh.

(This is a terrible picture of both of us,

we were trying not to laugh or cry,

so our faces were a little funny,

but its the only one I've got)

I am so grateful for this church and the knowledge and testimony I have of its truth and the reality of the atonement and the love of our Father in Heaven and his son for us. I am so grateful for the missionaries who are so courageous and selfless and noble, who dedicate their daily lives to the service of others and to bringing the joy of the restored gospel to any who are willing to hear.

Halloween Costume!

As a kid, my mom would make all of my halloween costumes for me. Generally they were pretty extravagant and complex (I was picky, and wanted to be the prettiest girl alive when I got the chance to dress up). She never complained, and always produced AMAZING results. She even made my dress for senior prom.

This year, I decided to try my hand at sewing. One of the nice things about having my mom make so many costumes and dresses for me is that I picked up a few of the basics, mostly from watching, and a little bit from her coaching, so I had a very general idea of what I was doing, but I'd never sewn anything on my own before, especially nothing so complicated. I should have done something simple, but I'm not a half-effort kind of person when it comes to special occasions and dressing up.

I spent WAY too many hours in front of my friend's sewing machine this week, sewing, sewing, sewing, I honestly didn't eat after breakfast yesterday until about an hour ago today. I was really worried that I wasn't going to finish before my ward party, but I did! It was a little bit too big, I have no idea how that happened, but other than that it turned out pretty well for a first attempt :)

The Best Home Teachers Ever

My home teachers are fantastic. They talk to my room mate and me, checking up on us more than once a month and to make the appointment. When they come over to teach they give fantastic lessons and they are always looking for a way to serve us. My favorite thing about them is the fact that they honor the priesthood which they hold and live close enough to the spirit that what they earnestly want to serve and help us, and are ready to exercise the priesthood at a moment's notice.

The last time they came to visit, my room mate felt a need for a blessing, and asked our home teachers for one as they were wrapping up the lesson. They were prepared to do it at that very moment. I think it takes so much faith to do that--to have the confidence that the Lord will give you the words that are needed, and that you have been righteous enough to be worthy of that revelation. I am in awe of these young men. I am so blessed to have the priesthood in my life, even when I'm not at home.

busy, busy, busy

I've been very busy lately. School doesn't seem to be giving me much of break until about a month from now. It's tiring, but I'm enjoying almost all of it, and keeping my head above water.

I've committed to reading at least 2 pages a day from the Book of Mormon, and finish it before the end of the school year. I'm loving it. It's amazing to me how the small amount of time I am giving to the Lord is being repaid with so much confidence and spiritual awareness. I've also been reading, The Skrewtape Letters by C S Lewis. It's pure genius. His understanding of the Lord and of human nature is absolutely mind blowing. He's phenomenal. I'm so glad to read something for pleasure and not for school, it has been way too long. Next on my list is either Mere Christianity or The Great Divorce, also by C S Lewis.

I'll try to post more often, and just keep swimming until Thanksgiving break, when I will be in . . . CALIFORNIA. Thank you Grandma :)

Some missionary scriptures that I LOVE

Mosiah 15:14-18

14 And these are they who have published peace, who have brought good tidings of good, who have published salvation; and said unto Zion: Thy God reigneth!

15 And O how beautiful upon the mountains were their feet!

16 And again, how beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of those that are still publishing peace!

17 And again, how beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of those who shall hereafter publish peace, yea, from this time henceforth and forever!

18 And behold, I say unto you, this is not all. For O how beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings, that is the founder of peace, yea, even the Lord, who has redeemed his people; yea, him who has granted salvation unto his people;

1 Nephi 13:37

37 And blessed are they who shall seek to bring forth my Zion at that day, for they shall have the gift and the power of the Holy Ghost; and if they endure unto the end they shall be lifted up at the last day, and shall be saved in the everlasting kingdom of the Lamb; and whoso shall publish peace, yea, tidings of great joy, how beautiful upon the mountains shall they be.

General Conference

This was probably my favorite conference weekend to date. Saturday morning my roommates and I had some of our friends over and made breakfast to eat while we watched the first session, which was a lot of fun, and really spiritual. After the second session, Rachel and I took Ashley's very large Jeep Wrangler (with her permission) and went to Spoon It Up (frozen yogurt) while Ashley was at a mocktail bar. When we all got back we drove up to Brianna's house and had a sleepover there.

The next morning we woke up way too early for my liking, had breakfast, and drove up to the conference center in Salt Lake City to go to Music and the Spoken Word, and General Conference. It was an amazing experience. Not only did we get to hear the Mormon Tabernacle Choir live, but we were able to hear the word of God preached to us by his holy prophet and apostles, while in the same room. My favorite part was singing "We Thank Thee O God for a Prophet" while looking straight at Thomas S Monson. The spirit was so strong, and I was so overwhelmed by how blessed I am to live in this time when the Lord's church is on the Earth, and we have the technology to hear his word from almost anywhere in the world, and then have access to the records of what they said.

We also got to walk around Temple Square, go to the visitors center and see the Christus statue, and enjoy the spirit and the beautiful weather. After that we went to Alissa's house and had lunch with her family, which was amazing, and then watched conference with them.

Over all I had so much fun in between sessions, and the best time spiritually as I was uplifted, edified, and taught by those wonderful men and women called of God to lead his church. I amso grateful to the Lord for this opportunity, and to those who took my roommates and me into their homes and took care of us.

I Love My Daddy :)

I am filled to bursting with gratitude today, and all week. I got to see my daddy this week, and it was fabulous. I haven't seen him in over a month, which I know isn't much, but I love him so much and I miss him when I don't get to see him. He took me shopping, out to dinner, and then we came back to my apartment and he gave me the most wonderful father's blessing ever. I'm so grateful that my dad has the priesthood and has honored and lived worthy of it. It has been such a blessing to me and I am so, so grateful to him for the wonderful example he has been, and to my Father in Heaven for blessing our Church with his Priesthood and revelation. Only 2 and 1/2 months till I get to see him and the rest of my family again.

Charity Never Faileth

I love the relief society. I love the sisterhood, the caring, the safety that we have because of it and the strength and comfort I can receive from, and give to, my sisters there. It is a wonderful organization and I have a very firm testimony that it is ordained of God, that it is for our growth, development, and help.

Getting to know the other young women in my new ward has been wonderful. They are all so sweet and beautiful, with so many talents and insights that they are willing to share both inside and outside of church. I don't know most of them yet, at least not very well, but I am so excited for when I do, because I know that we will be great friends and be able to serve one another.

Last night I went to the General Relief Society Broadcast, and it was amazing. The spirit was so strong and I was able to receive much needed personal revelation, as well as insights shared directly by the speakers. I love this church so much, the doctrine taught, and all of the people in it. It is a truly wonderful thing.

Coolest Calling Ever

In my new ward I have the best calling. It's not one where I get to show off, or teach, or organize (all of which I was hoping for, for mildly selfish reasons). It is a completely personal, yet service oriented job that is going to really help me to stay focussed on what is important and stay close to the spirit and my Father in Heaven. My calling is to attend the temple once a week when there are very few people there, to make it worth the the time of the people volunteering to run the ordinances. If any of my non LDS friends want to know what a Mormon temple is and what goes on inside, click here. It is a sacred place where the spirit abides and the Lord can better instruct us. It is a place of peace and learning and holiness. I love going there because I always receive the peace and focus I need to keep going in whatever I need to do after I leave. If I had time to go every day I would.

Women's Chorus

I am so grateful that I get to be in Women's Chorus. It is a wonderful, wonderful place where I feel safe to drop my emotional burdens at the door and spend an entire every day stretching myself becoming a stronger singer, and also praising and drawing closer to my Father in Heaven. We are asked at the beginning of the year to promise to live our lives in such a way that we can have the spirit with us, not only during rehearsals, but in performances so that we can reach out to those listening, as well as each other. We are all sisters within our Choir, and it is such a phenomenal experience to be able to sing, and praise, and love with these beautiful women.

My room mates, my classes, my testimony

It has become a lot harder for me to find the time to post, now that school has started, but I'm determined to keep this up. So far I have been loving my classes, I just hope I can keep my motivation up. I decided to add two dance classes to my schedule, which I am excited for, but I hope that they don't effect my productivity for the worse. I am so grateful for my room mates. They are all so sweet and kind, and do so much to help me feel included. I love them already. I can tell that we're going to have a great time this year.

My favorite class so far has been New Testament. My teacher is so passionate, not just about the secular, historical part, but also about the religion. He brings the spirit into the class before he even steps up to the podium, and not only teaches, but preaches with a strong, authoritative testimony of our Lord. It is absolutely amazing to be his pupil and to have the opportunity to be here at this university where I have the chance to be taught and study with people who share my devotion, faith, and passion for the Gospel of Christ. I know that He lives, that he loves me, and I will gladly sing His praise every day of my life. I am so grateful for the love that my Heavenly Father has shown me in my youth, not only because of the joy and comfort it gives me, but so that I can share it with others.

2 Timothy 1:7-8

Recommitment

A good friend reminded me yesterday that this blog is supposed to be acting as my gratitude journal, which fact I had recently been less attentive to. So here and now before you, I am recommitting to keeping my blog posts positive and frequent, so that I can have a more optimistic outlook on life. Hopefully by reading it you will be given a little sunshine, too :)

I'll fly away...

I just saw someone who I haven't seen in years and it made. my. day. I was feeling a little grumpy and sullen and all those unpleasant words when I literally ran into him on the stairs. My mood is considerably brighter and I feel that all of the things making me grumpy have vanished, leaving me weightless! Partly due to the delicious Jamba currently entering my rumbly tumbly, but mostly due to seeing an old friend. I'm going to try out my new-found wings and fly away. Have a lovely day :)

The Hobbit!!!

I loved reading the Hobbit, and the Lord of the Rings, and I loved the LOTR movies. Well guess what? Peter Jackson is at it again and I am SOOOOO excited!!!! They're making a production blog!

Back to School

I am back in Provo! It's really weird living south of campus, in an apartment, in a singles ward with no pre-mission guys. I'm really grateful to my grandparents for taking me in and letting me stay with them, taking me shopping, making sure I'm fed, and helping me move in to the new apartment. I'm really glad that I have family here. I literally would not be able to make this transition by myself, emotionally or physically.

My room mates and I are getting along super well! They are all incredibly sweet and nice. We have a lot in common, and we're excited for classes to start and to get to know our ward. We took some room mate pictures earlier and it was fun :)

Dentist....

This morning I had the privilege of going to the dentist, and anyone I've talked to recently can tell you that I was not in any way happy to be there, especially at 9 am on a Monday. I got whisked away rather quickly to a room in the back where I'd never been before where I was immediately seated and had a cotton swab with cherry numbing cream shoved in my mouth. Thankfully it was very effective and I didn't feel anything the rest of the appointment, except for when the hygienist pinched my lip with the tweezers.

Over all, it was a pleasant experience and I'm no longer mortally terrified of the dentist ( I had a pretty bad dentist when I was little). Despite how much I dislike going to get my teeth cleaned or drilled, I am grateful that I have a dentist and the means to pay her. I would much rather have a stressful encounter every 6 months, than a smelly mouth and teeth riddled with cavities.

Vanilla Twilight

Don't you love it when you are having trouble expressing how you feel, or for some reason are embarrassed to do it out loud, or just can't quite put to words what is so strong you feel that you have to sing it to show the proper emotion, and then you find a song that says exactly what you want to? I do. This happened to me on Wednesday. Thank Heaven for Adam Young and his uncanny ability to sing exactly what I wish I could say.

Saying Goodbye

Goodbyes have never been something I've enjoyed. I don't like having to leave the people I care about, or have them leave me, even if its only for a few months. I enjoy face to face communication so much more than talking on the phone, or texting, or facebook, or whatever. It's almost harder for me to leave for college the second time knowing how hard it was for me last time, and having grown closer to more people here in Michigan, and having so many of my BYU friends leave on missions. I'm not as excited to go back to school as I should be, but I just have to look forward instead of backwards.

I am grateful that none of my goodbyes have been for forever. As far as I know, I will have the chance to see all of my friends again in this life, and even for my family members who have passed away, I have the promise of seeing them again in the life after this. I am so grateful for the faith that I have and for the knowledge of God's plan for us, so that I don't have to be so afraid of saying farewell, because I know that it is never forever.

As long as we live, there is never enough singing

This past week I was a counselor at my high school's choir camp, and, oh my goodness, I had so much fun. We sang for about 6 hours a day, which I loved. In fact, I loved almost everything about it. I loved the square dance, the beautiful lake and woods, the people I was with, the music we sang, the girls in my cabin, my co-counselor and all the other counselors, spending all my time with friends, helping with the dance class, riding in the golf cart, making new friends, having all my siblings there, and did I mention singing? The only thing I did not like was the food. It was not very good at all.

One thing I really liked, but that most people didn't, was the presence of mice and chipmunks in the cabins. I have this odd fantasy thing where I'm Snow White and friends with all the woodland animals, and they sing with me and we have lots of fun. I thought they were adorable, but everyone else was kind of scared of them, which I thought was sad.

The weather was beautiful while we were there, which was a pleasant surprise as it is usually quite cold. At night the moon was always super bright which was fun, and you could see the stars very well. The lake looked beautiful in the moonlight, once you got out of the mildly creepy woods and on to the open path.

I was really grateful for this opportunity, and regardless of whether or not I get to do it again, I'll always be happy that I got to go this year.

Last Post for a Little While

I'll be going to choir camp tomorrow, and it should be super fun, but for some reason I feel like staying home. Its only about two weeks until I go back to BYU and I'm really going to miss my family, old friends, and new friends from the singles ward. I wish I could bring them all with me, because I really love BYU but I don't like that scary period of time where I don't know anyone in my classes or ward. I'm excited though, for camp and school. I'm really grateful that I got to come home for the summer, and for all the time I got to spend with my family, and that I have the means to attend BYU. Can't wait to see all my friends there :)

This is a world of dreams and reverie, where I felt the stars explode around me

I love the stars, I love staying out late just to talk, I love fireflies, I love pizza, I love good conversation, and I love feeling like myself, and not like I have to change anything about who I am or what I feel. I don't love that my car, like Mr. Bunbury, really needs to make up its mind whether to live or die and then commit to doing so. I got to experience all of these awesome things (and one not-so-awesome thing) last night. It was a really good night. You see my face? ... no? well, its a happy face :)

Family

I'm really grateful for my family. My immediate family is wonderful and I love them to bits, and they always love and support me. We have our moments of disagreement and such, but we always make up for it later. They're patient with all of my short comings (which are many) and help me work through my problems.

I'm also really grateful for my "family" that I'm not related to: the people who always loves, support, and accept me even though they're not obligated to in any way. One really great example of this the entire DeVries family. They are always so kind to me, and I never feel as if I'm unwanted when I'm around them. They're seriously like my second family and I love them so, so much that it sometimes makes me cry because I just don't have enough room for all that love in my heart. I don't know what I'd do without them.

I'm so grateful for all of my friends that have loved and supported me throughout my life and who continue to do so. I love you all :)

I love rain, and Harry Potter

Last night I got to go to Harry Potter and the deathly hallows pt2 for the second time with my new friend Dan. We have a crazy lot in common, and he's super fun. We went to the movie and it was awesome, although I didn't cry nearly half as hard or as much as I did the first time, which is a very good thing. I was seriously sobbing the first time, although it probably had something to do with the incredibly late hour and my caffein consumption that day. ( I know, naughty, naughty Dana. How dare I drink a vanilla coke. Shame on me.)

When the movie was done we went to the door and it was POURING. Plus there was lightning every 5 to 10 seconds so that made it even cooler. I pulled out my umbrella like a boringly responsible adult but Dan just ran right out into the rain. pretty soon I closed my umbrella and followed suit. I love playing in the rain J It was pretty bad driving weather, and I'm glad that he drove instead of me because when it rains that hard my windshield leaks on the passenger seat, not to mention rear wheel drive is never good on slippery roads.

I was really excited that it was raining because we haven't had a proper storm in weeks and the grass is all sad looking. Plus, as previously mentioned, I love rain, and lightning, and thunder. Lightning is so cool at night. I don't particularly care for it when I'm trying to fall asleep, but I do like watching it light everything up for a split second.

Nauvoo

Last week I had the AMAZING opportunity to go to Nauvoo with my family. Nauvoo is a city where the Latter-day Saint pioneers began gathering in the 1840's. They were forced to leave in the winter of 1846, but the LDS church later reacquired much of the original property of the church and private members of that time and restored them to be historically accurate. Senior and sister missionaries, many of whom dress in 1840's costume, lead tours, put on shows, and are there to answer questions for visitors. There is a special group of those missionaries who are there specifically as actors, dancers, singers, and band members, who share the gospel through their talents, and only stay for 3-4 months. I'm auditioning for next summer. I'm really excited.

The story about the saints in Nauvoo is truly amazing. Their faith and courage is so inspiring, and helps me to realize how blessed I am to live in a time where the only "persecution" I receive for being LDS is mild teasing. I didn't have to walk across the frozen Mississippi in February, or cross the great plains on foot to reach safety. I have not lost any loved ones, nor have I had to leave my home, friends, or family. I am so grateful for the sacrifices those early pioneers made so that I can live my religion in peace today.

I hope and pray that I can live worthy of the love and sacrifices of those saints. I know that the true gospel of Christ is worth doing all of those incredibly hard things for, and hope that I would have the faith to do what they did if necessary. I love my Father in Heaven and am so grateful for all that he has given me.

I ♥ Gordon B Hinkley

Source: dandee-designs.com via Sydney on Pinterest

Baby Abigail

A few weeks ago I got to visit my wonderful friends Jessica and Doug, and their new baby girl! I love their little family, and she is just so cute :) I even got to hold her! I miss having their family close by, but an hour away isn't too bad.

here's a picture :)

ps, I LOVE babies :)

Speaking in Church, and other chenanigans

Today I had the great opportunity to speak in church. Most people wouldn't claim to love this, and despite the rush I get from performing, public speaking is still not something I particularly enjoy. I do, however, love preparing to give a talk.

For my friends who are not LDS, the main service where everyone sits in pews and we take the sacrament is only the first hour of church. Instead of having one sermon by our bishop, we generally have two or three members of the congregation speak on the same topic, like "coming to know the Savior by diligently learning of him," which is what I spoke on today.

I love preparing a talk because I am more enthusiastic about my scripture study, and have a particular focus in mind besides simply reading. I always feel and increase of the spirit in my life as I strive even harder to live the principles I am going to convey, and a greater understanding of the doctrine of our Lord. My testimony is stronger, and so is my love for the Savior and all of his children.

I had a lot of really fun stuff happen this week. First off, I went to the midnight showing of Harry Potter! It was fantastic :) I'm really glad that I didn't read the book over again before I saw it, so the little differences didn't bother me so much, and I just tried to think of it as separate from the book. (SPOILER ALLERT) I was kind of sad that it was ending, and I totally cried for pretty much the rest of the movie after Harry showed up at Hogwarts and stood up to Snape. They also did a really great job of making Snape look like a good guy, which I needed. I still had trouble reconciling the Snape I hated when I was little, with the hero of the last book. I've decided that Snape is a Byronic Hero, but don't ask me what that means, I can't quite remember the definition. :P

I also got a mini package from my friend who is on his mission. Inside there were 51 pictures. and that's it. I loved it :)

Lastly, I got to spend an afternoon with my wonderful friend Michael, who I've known for seven years. We don't agree on everything, but we really get each other and I just love spending time with him :) He's always there for me whenever I'm going through a rough time, sometimes with flowers and chocolate :)

Owl City

On my birthday my mom took Sarah, Cameron, and me to Owl City's concert in Detroit and it was AWESOME!!!!! I love the fact that Adam Young writes ALL of his songs, and they're all so sweet and innocent. They're mostly electronic and upbeat, but when he performed live, he made them more like alternative rock, with more electric guitar than keyboard. It was pretty hype :) He also has quite a few songs Christiany songs that are super fun to listen to, and also really spiritual.

Adam's blog is also awesome. Its really funny most of the time, and the rest of the time its just really pleasant to read. He talks a lot about how much he loves nature and the Lord, so I think we'd get along pretty well. In a nutshell, I love Adam Young! As an artist. I obviously don't actually know him, but I think we could be good friends if I did.

Thank you for the wonderful birthday present Mommy :)

And happy 4th of July! :)

D&C 98:8 I, the Lord God, make you free, therefore ye are free indeed; and the law also maketh you free.

my Vati

I love my dad. He is the absolute best. He is so patient with me, especially when I'm TERRIBLE at German and he's trying to help me. He is so loving to my mom and all his kids, and even when he's upset looks for ways to help us. He's an incredibly hard worker and very, very spiritual. From observing him I've learned that love can be the strongest motivator to both continue and change, and humility the best attitude to assume. He knows how to be completely goofy and fun and also how to discipline and be disciplined. He is GREAT with kids. I want to be like him when I grow up :)

I'm feeling poetic today--and really, really cheezy. Don't bother reading this post :P

I love the wind. I love the way it plays with my hair and gently brushes my cheeks with its fingertips like a baby trying to fall asleep. I love how invigorating it is to stand in the grass with my arms wide open and absorb the energy of the sun and air until I have to run. I love the way the very earth seems to come alive when the wind blows. The trees dance, the grass waves, the water ripples and rolls, and the sun leaves little brown kisses on my cheeks. Flower petals and cotton wood seeds swirl around me like fairies and remind me of the dreams I used to have of Neverland.

The Mountain from TSO Photography on Vimeo.

I haven't posted in a while because I've just been so busy and between working, school, and going teaching with the Missionaries I've been really tired and sleeping much more than I should need to. I love everything I'm doing, (except for school, which I like, but I wish that I weren't doing it in the summer) and I'm so happy to be home.

I am very grateful for good hair days, especially since they are much more scarce here where it's humid than out in Utah. Sometimes I will blow-dry, brush, condition, EVERYTHING and my hair will still look like this:

Other days it thankfully looks a little more like my sister Sarah's hair, which is THE most gorgeous hair on the face of the earth, Repunzel has nothing on her :)

I am also grateful for my HILARIOUS little brother Cameron. He always makes me laugh, and I love him to death. I love how he is always ready to defend me if he thinks I need it, or make me laugh if I'm ever grumpy or stressed. We have several handshakes and inside jokes. He's my buddy :)

Friends make me smile!

I am so grateful for my friends. Some of them I've known almost my whole life and still keep in contact with, and some of them I was really close to for a short amount of time and we don't really talk much anymore, which is sad, but I am very grateful to all of them. I am so blessed to have so many people in my life that are always there for me and with whom I can talk about anything at all and they are always willing to listen and offer advice. We all share varying amounts of personal interests and beliefs, but I enjoy spending time with all of them. I am so glad that I am not one of those people you see in movies who doesn't like their "friends" and dreads seeing them. I am quite the opposite. I love talking to and seeing my friends, whether its in person, or via Skype, phone, facebook, or otherwise.

My Mother

Today I am especially grateful for my mom. I can be a pain in the butt sometimes, especially when she wants me to wake up relatively early even though we stayed up until 1:30 the night before and I have a gift for sleeping until my body says its not tired anymore. Or the fact I have a tendency to procrastinate and get distracted by anything sparkly or fluffy and thereby give my mom a heart attack because I cut my deadlines too close. No matter how many times I do all of this dumb stuff, she is always there for me with a hug and a smile, and whatever comfort I happen to need at the time.

My mom is incredibly smart and can read me like an open book, even more so than others can. She can always tell when I need to "refocus" on spiritual things because I am getting to caught up in the little things that don't make any difference in the long run. Last week I was stewing over something that I really couldn't control, which was in turn affecting my productivity. Because my mom is a super hero and always knows what to do, she took me over to the piano and handed me a hymn book and opened it to page 124: Be Still My Soul. It is one of my favorite hymns and says basically that we don't need to worry about what happens to us, or what the future holds, because the LORD will take care of us. It really helped me to put this tiny trial in perspective and remember to turn to the one person who knows what I am going through and has the power and the knowledge to guide me through it.

I love my mom so much and I am so grateful to her for all she does for me.

Missionaries

I am so grateful for the sister missionaries in my ward, as well as all missionaries, but this week I'm especially grateful for mine :) I already mentioned my experience with them last tuesday, but I had the opportunity to go with them to teach someone on thursday. The girl we were teaching is my age. She is such a wonderful girl with a big heart, who was asking all the right questions. When we were talking about the plan of salvation and the atonement the spirit was so strong and I could tell that she felt it too. When the missionaries gave her a Book of Mormon they asked her to read three verses (Moroni 10:3-5) which basically say that if you pray with an open heart and ask God if this book is true, he will give you an answer. I have done this very thing and received an answer. The Book of Mormon is true. I know it in my heart and I have seen it touch countless people's lives. I am so grateful for it, this church, and the way their teachings help me become better than I ever could be on my own.

I am also grateful for all of my good friends who are serving missions now, have served them, or are planning on serving in the future. I am so proud of you, and so glad to call you my friends. I admire your courage and selflessness, and am so blessed to know you.

For anyone reading this who doesn't know what missionaries for my church are, or wants to know more about them, click here --> ♥

Music

I've had so much to be grateful for lately, and yet I've managed to be in a grumpy mood, which is really dumb of me to let such little things get me down when I am so blessed. One thing that always helps me get out of these funks is music. Last year I had the privilege of being in the BYU Women's Chorus and we sang some AMAZING spiritual music, which I now have recordings of, and nothing helps me to feel more at peace and close to my Father in Heaven when I am having a bad day than listening to, and singing along with that music. It brings me so close to the Lord to really think about the meanings of the songs and pour my own testimony into them as I sing.

Why I am Mormon

Yesterday I had the opportunity to meet with the sister missionaries from my church. Our original plan was to teach someone who was interested in joining the church, but they never showed up and their phone was off so the sisters and I just talked instead. First we just got to know each other a little bit and talked about how utterly hot it was yesterday, and then they taught me a short lesson since they weren't able to teach the woman we had meant to meet. It was amazing. The spirit was so strong the entire time, testifying to me of the truth of the scriptures and the doctrine of our church.

I am not a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints because we have fun activities, to make my parents happy, because the teachings fit my lifestyle, or because it's easy. It's not easy, but it is so worth it because every time I go to the awesome activities, or the three hour services on Sundays, or read the Book of Mormon I feel God's love so strongly, and the Holy Spirit testifying to me that the Book of Mormon is the word of the Lord, that Joseph Smith was a true prophet, and that this church has all of the truth, divine authority, and power that it had when Christ was on the earth. I know that our Father loves all of us so much and is willing to forgive us and accept us if we will only accept him and turn away from our sins. I am so grateful for that knowledge.

To all of my friends who are not Mormon: please know that I do not look down on you because of our differences. I do not judge you for doing things that I don't do. I love you, and Father in Heaven does too, even if you don't acknowledge him.

I ♥ My Body

I am really grateful for my body. Even though my skin gets dry and the pigment is uneven, my toes are funny, I need glasses to see things that are far away, whatever. I'm far from perfect physically, but I am so thankful for my body. Even though I may not always show it in the way I care for it I really am so blessed to have a body that, for all intents and purposes, works just fine. Earlier this week I went for a run that was pretty hard on me, although it was relatively short: Almost 3 miles. I was really sore after it because I was silly and forgot to stretch when I got home, but the fact that I was able to just up and run that far is such a blessing, especially considering how much sitting around I've done since I got home. My asthma didn't even act up like it usually does this time of year! I am so grateful for all that I have been given, and for my body that allows me to do almost anything I want.

Birthday Girl

Today I'm grateful for my sister Lizzie, who is 7 years old today. She certainly is a ball of energy. She is always moving, singing, dancing, talking, you name it. Despite all this, I love her so much and I am so glad that she is my sister!

Props to my dad for the awesome video :) It's a little old, but its the best one I have at the moment.

I am also grateful for the beautiful weather today! The sun is out, the wind is blowing a nice warm breeze, the trees and grass are swaying, and everything is soft and warm! I love Michigan :) And my puppy Franky is being so cute and nice to me today. I am also grateful for that.

Memorial Day Weekend: I'm walkin' on sunshine!

This weekend was wonderful :) I'm starting to feel more acclimated to the singles ward and even made a few friends! I am grateful for friends: both old and new. Today I got up at seven thirty to help an older woman in my ward with her garden. I admit I was not incredibly enthusiastic until I got there at 8 and forced myself to smile and be pleasant. Immediately after that I felt so great! Not only was I helping her plant beautiful flowers, but I got to teach my little sister how to help too. By the time we left it was really hot and humid (90º and at least 80% humidity) but I still felt great. Then about 2 hours later we went swimming as a family and it was fabulous! I got a little bit sunburned on my cheeks, but other than that I was just so happy to be in the sun! Then tonight we had a BBQ with our good friends and neighbors and everything was so delicious. I had a great day.

Just a disclaimer: my life is far from perfect. There were definitely some parts of the day where I wanted to yell at someone, or push, or scream, or be really unhelpful, but I am trying right now to be a "Wise Optimist" (Henry B. Eyring) and acknowledge and address the bad things, but not to focus on them. This blog has now become the place for me to focus on gratitude so that I can be more happy and service oriented. So far it's turning out great! I've been a lot more patient and forgiving than usual, and I genuinely smile a lot more. I'd invite anyone who is looking to be a little more happy to try it.

Fair are the meadows, fairer the woodlands

Today I am grateful for trees and grass and anything green and growing :) even though BYU had a lot of trees and grass for Utah, it's got nothing on Michigan. For example: this is the Huron River for which my high school was named, and is about ten minutes from my house.Beautiful, right? Although this picture was taken a few miles up the river you still get the idea. If I ever move somewhere with less trees you can expect that I will paint them on my walls, and incorporate them into my decorations in any way possible because I love them that much. Nature in general, especially living things, astounds me and brings me so much joy, and I am so grateful to surrounded by so much beauty.

P.S. the title is from one of my favorite songs, "Beautiful Savior"

Gratitude

In women's conference last weekend I went to a class about gratitude taught by Bob Quinn, who I am so privileged to know. In his class we talked about gratitude and how important it is, and how we can incorporate it into our lives. He encouraged us to write in our journals every morning, beginning with "I am grateful for..." or keep a special journal just about gratitude. He also suggested we share it with those we love in the hopes that it will help those who read them find greater joy and appreciation for life. So, as of now, I am going to try to keep my gratitude journal on my blog, and actually post them. :)

Today I am grateful for the safety of my family and friends. Many people I know, including my dad, have been traveling in the southern mid-west in the past week, and although they have been close to the destruction caused by the tornadoes in that area, they have been kept safe. The weather here in my hometown has also been less than ideal, but we have been spared any real danger, and I am grateful for that as well.

I am also grateful for my family. No matter how I feel or act, my family is always there for me to help me and lift me up. I am so blessed to have such a supportive family who loves me and each other despite our differences of personality and temperament. I am so thankful for the love that I share with my family and that it can last through eternity through the saving grace of our Lord.

Valentines Day for reals

Today was valentine's day (duh, read the title Dana, no need to state the obvious). Anyways, I woke up in a decent mood, and turned on my iPod and began listening to a rather romantic playlist because I didn't know what else to do and my stupor began to form into a dreary, grey sort of mood. I felt that I should be in a much more giddy, guy-oriented mood, so I decided to reading the letter I had received on valentines day last year from a friend who is on his mission, but the fact that we're no longer pen-pals made me even more distraught.

Kicking myself mentally for being such an idiot, I slowly began to trudge towards campus. I saw a friend coming towards me, but being in such a fowl mood I considered trying not to make eye contact. He, however, had different plans. "Hey! Hi Dana! How are you? Isn't it a WONDERFUL morning? I'm having such a good day already." He was absolutely beaming, and I couldn't help but be infected by his sheer joy. I began half-dancing to class whilst humming the Glee version of "Marry you" by Bruno Mars.

After my first two classes, I was still in a wonderful mood and came home to make lunch, and listened to an up-tempo Glee mix as opposed to the slow sappy stuff that had put me in a poor mood that morning. I practically flew to ballroom afterwards, and cheerily slipped on my heals when a very nice boy and great dancer, whom I very much suspect has a crush on me, sat down next to me as usual and we began talking. Long story short, he pretty much asked if I wanted to be partners for the competition in March, which is awesome because you really have to fight for a partner as a girl. Then, I had to leave before class was done because my teacher always goes over and I have a class that takes more than ten minutes to walk to. So I was trying to slip out quietly and just happened to pass by this boy, who gently took my hand and squeezed it when I walked by, in an utterly non-creepy way, and gave me the most sincere smile I've ever seen on his face. Seriously, this kid doesn't smile very often, and never shows his teeth. But today he did and I noticed for the first time that he has dimples.

After classes were done, I needed to go to the store to pick up some food with my room mate Natalie. On the way there, a group of four boys who were taking up the entire sidewalk were coming towards us, so we moved off to one side to make room, but kept talking. One of them went to the left side of the sidewalk, my side, while the rest of the boys went right, like you're supposed to. Then to our surprise, the two boys closest to us, held out little kiddie valentines and said, "happy Valentine's day!" and walked off. We looked at the cards, and the boys had left their names and phone numbers, and written cute things in the "to:" line, such as "to: the apple of my eye," and "to: a beautiful soul."

That is about the extent of my experiences today, which were far more than I have ever experienced on valentines day. ever. So, I believe the rumors are true. BYU is a magical place :)

Happy Valentine's Day!

Valentines Day aka Singles Awareness Day

Being at BYU, which I'm pretty sure has a much higher population of people in steady relationships and astronomically higher population of married couples than most colleges, Valentines day is a pretty big deal. There is a countdown in the window of the bookstore reminding everyone the days, hours, minutes and seconds until the big day. For those like myself who have never had a particularly special valentines day, it's almost like rubbing salt in the wound. But not really because I don't care that much, my self confidence is pretty high right now so I'm not feeling the need for a man to complete my life :)

So, despite my best attempts to pretend like valentines day is just like any other crappy monday, love is in the air.

A week or so ago, under circumstances currently classified as Top Secret by the Maeser Mafia, I was quite unexpectedly kissed on the cheek by a person (we will call him Bob) whom I did not think likely to commit such an atrocity. I made him a pie, at his request; and upon his discovery of its surrender, he climbed over several people to deliver a relatively long kiss to my left cheek, while ensuring that my escape was impossible by holding my face stationary in his hands. My brain, completely overcome by the unusual stimuli it was receiving, melted out my ears and onto the floor, rendering me incapable to deal with the situation at hand. I was at a complete loss for words, I didn't glare, I didn't blush, I didn't even look at him. Not that I got much of a chance—Bob was in quite a hurry and left the room in less time than the previously mentioned kiss took.

At first, I was angry. What right did Bob have to put his hands on my face, let alone his lips? Then I was amazed at my mother's apparent psychic abilities, as she had told me when I explained his demand for a pie that Bob obviously liked me. Then I was worried. Didn’t he have a girl friend? What if she found out and broke up with him? Then I was giddy, "heheeeee, I got kissed! I'm a girlygirl and get excited about stuff!" Then I realized I was being an idiot because Bob probably meant as nothing more by it than "thanks for the pie."

I maturely decided to let it go. There was no point in dwelling on it, so I'd just move on and address it if it ever happened again. It didn't mean anything to me, if only because I couldn't make heads or tails of it, and I doubted it meant anything to Bob. Then, one day later, Bob came over to borrow some cooking ingredients, and although I was the one who answered the door, got him the toppings, and walked him to the door, he didn't make eye contact with me the entire time. He also left much more quickly than is usual for him, as he often stays to chat when business brings him to my apartment. The only thing he really said was "That [pie] was nom. Thanks."

Since then, I was trying to pretend that nothing had happened, but he Bob was still acting kind of awkwardly. He wouldn't quite make eye contact with me and his banter was slightly more abrasive than usual. One night he seemed to be a bit grumpy so I tried to give him a hug to make him feel better. He pretended (I hope) to be very upset with me and reported to our FHE mom that I had tried to hug him and she'd better get a handle on her daughter(me)! She looked at him like he was crazy and said, rather loudly, "You kissed her! If anyone has the right to complain its Dana." It turned a few heads but he just looked really embarrassed and walked off. So, although not much has been resolved, I have come to one conclusion: The way to a man's heart, for however short a time, is through his stomach.

Happy New Years

Finally getting around to updating my blog again, my new years resolution is to do it more often, so we'll see what happens. I had a wonderful two weeks with my family, we all got the stomach flu, I got to see some old friends, and I didn't gain any weight because I wasn't eating, so merry Christmas to me :)

I am now back at BYU with my room mates whom I missed very much. They are the best girls and I love them. It is also very nice being back in a real bed! (I was on an air mattress for the extent of the winter break.) Classes just started today and I am enjoying them very much so far, but we'll see what happens when the MWF classes role around tomorrow.

Sad story: my little puppy broke his leg while I was home. I'm told its a very common thing for pomeranians to do, as their bones are so small. It was actually pretty cute though, after he got his cast on. for a day or two he tried to walk on his cast, but then he decided it was easier to hold his leg straight out in front of him and walk on only three legs. It was pretty comical and very cute. He also got to meet my best friend Michael, and they got along really well which was very happy to me.

Happy Story: The puppy ended up needing a pretty expensive surgery, but as soon as we found out the cost, my dad received an email informing him that he would be getting an extra bonus which just happened to cover the cost of the surgery completely. The Lord certainly does provide and we are so blessed that he chose to help us at this time.