Thursday, May 7, 2015

Graduation and Moving On

It's been forever since I've posted. I've been so busy with moving plans, finishing last semester, getting sick multiple times, yeah it's been pretty crazy. But also crazy awesome! Cameron Graduated from BYU! I'm so very proud of him. I have to admit it was really hard for me to be sitting in the audience during graduation and not next to my wonderful husband, wearing the cap and gown. I almost lost it a few times when well meaning friends and relatives kept bringing up that I wasn't done yet. I wanted to walk across that stage. I wanted to feel like all of the sacrifices I've made for my education and family were worth while. I wanted so badly to be done with this phase of trying to live two lives--stay at home mom and student. It's hard. It wasn't what I had planned.

But I got through it, and I'm trying hard to accept the plans the Lord has for me. I read a great quote today by Bonnie L. Oscarson: "If it is the Lord's plan, it should be our plan, too!" I have been selfish and thinking about me and what I've wanted and "why don't my plans ever work out?" But if I turn to the Lord and make his plans what I'm most concerned about then I will be a lot happier, because his plans are the ones that happen!

In my ideal world I would be graduated now and I'd be moving on to a time of life without homework instead of taking spring classes to try and finish as much as I can before we move in the fall, but I know that God is in control. I know that he gives me trials so that I can grow, and I need to be more grateful for what I do have. When we have hard times in our lives, we need to decide if we are going to become bitter or better. Lately I've been bitter, but now I want to be better!

I choose to look at my circumstances with gratitude! I choose to be happy, even when circumstances are not what I want them to be! I choose to be my best self.

I am so grateful for my family! I am grateful for my husband and all the sacrifices that he makes for Sam and me. I am grateful for Sam and would never ever exchange him for a college degree. I love him with all my heart and know that starting our family when we did was the right thing to do for us! It may not be easy, but it is absolutely glorious!

I am grateful for my Heavenly Father for his love and support. I am so grateful for how patient he is with my constant shortcomings. I love him and hope I can keep trying to become more like him!