Wednesday, October 10, 2012
When I was little, as my mom told my fiancé today, I was that kid that got picked on, even by younger kids. I was shy, slow, short, you name it. I was the one without candy after the Easter egg hunt, or piñata, last one picked for sports teams at recess, and I was pretty sensitive, so this all hurt.
I've had a lot of experiences where people that I looked up to or wanted to be loved by didn't appreciate me for who I was even though I tried really hard to be their friend, serve them, uplift and comfort them, but it frequently seemed that I was the only one working at the relationship.
I don't feel like that little kid with the empty Easter basket anymore.
Cameron is amazing, and he loves me and cares about me. If you don't believe me, read this. There are so many reasons that I love him, but today I am especially grateful because he lifts me up. He picked me. He tells and shows me every moment how appreciated and loved I am, and am never allowed to forget who I am: a daughter of our Father in Heaven with worth and potential. I have never felt more valued, because although I have always been loved and supported by my family, this is coming from a man that had no prior connection or obligation to me. Yet he loves me. He treats me like a queen and puts my happiness and well being above his own.
I could not be more grateful for this wonderful, wonderful man. I am so excited to marry him! :)
40 days to go ;)
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
So, this week, I'm asking everyone to "pay it forward." Anytime someone holds the door for you, tells you that you look nice today, even smiles at you, try to do something for someone else! Just do your best to make someone else smile. And guess what? You don't have to stop as soon as you've done it once. Even if no one seems to be doing anything nice for you today, you can start the cycle. And remember this: God loves you, and every blessing in your life, even life itself, comes from him. So you always have something to pay forward.
Imagine what a lovely place the world would be if everyone tried to do this! Let's all try today to make the world a little brighter. I would LOVE it if you shared your experiences with all of us in the comments below. Thanks for participating in this experiment with me!
Sunday, September 30, 2012
I spent almost all day with Cameron yesterday and it was wonderful! We don't get to do that very often anymore now that school has started. We got things to make our Halloween costumes, got lunch, picked up a few things for wedding decorations, and ended the day at his Grandparents' home watching the broadcast and eating dinner.
It's so amazing and wonderful to me how the closer I am to the Lord and to his spirit, the more love I feel for Him, and for Cam. My heart is so full lately that a lot of my emotion has been escaping out my eyes ;). Life is so wonderful with Cameron in it. He is always pointing me upwards, and doing everything he can to help me physically, emotionally, spiritually, everything. He is my greatest blessing and I am so excited to share eternity with him.
The joy I have felt lately is indescribable. I am so fulfilled and I know that I am loved. I really am so blessed, and I thank Heaven every moment for this immense gift that I've so graciously been given.
Yesterday I was thinking about the difficulties I was having in the spring and the opportunity that they to draw closer to the Lord; and I realized something. I realized that those experiences were preparing me for Cameron. Had I not been close to the spirit, and not had an open heart, ready to look further than skin deep, I would not have been ready for Cameron when I met him. This is one of the few times when I am humble enough to be grateful for my supposed misfortunes.
The Lord knows exactly what we need to become our best, and if we follow him, and try to understand his plan and do it, we will be blessed beyond measure and happier than we ever imagined possible.
73 Days Down, 52 Days to Go!
Saturday, August 25, 2012
1. I Love My Fiancé.
He is so good and sweet to me. He is always trying to take care of me, helping me to turn to the Lord, and and lifting me up emotionally. He never let's a day go by where he doesn't tell me how wonderful he thinks I am, or how big my heart is, or what an amazing wife and mother I will be. You get the idea. When I ask him why he's so good to me, he says something to the effect of, "I want to be with you for eternity, and if I'm not good to you now, why would you want to be with me forever?"
2. The Lord Loves Us
"He clothes the lilies of the field.
He feeds the birds in the sky.
And he will feed those who trust him,
And guide them with His eye." (Consider the Lilies)
I have seen this so much in my life since I've met Cameron. He is so perfect for me. Yes, we have our differences, but we are able to talk about them and work past them. We are both willing to sacrifice and compromise, and focus on the multitudes of things we love about each other, our similarities, and our common goals. We have a lot of those. If the Lord could take the time to make sure that Cam and I had all the life experiences that would prepare us for each other, out of all his millions of children and important cosmic things I'm sure he has to coordinate, how amazing is that? I always believed that he loved his children, but now I have absolutely no doubt.
I believe that after death our spirits continue on. Not as ghosts, but more like angels. I believe that we will continue on in this way until we are resurrected, as the Savior was, and regain our bodies, but they will be glorified and perfected, never to be separated from our spirits again. If we keep his commandments, and make covenants in his house, including the covenant and ordinance of marriage, we can be together with our families forever. This is why Cam and I have chosen to be married in the temple, by someone who holds the proper priesthood authority so seal us to each other, not just 'till death, but for eternity! How wonderful is that!
I'm so grateful for the atonement of Jesus Christ, for making it possible for our sins to be forgiven, that I may try every day to be better than the day before, and have hope of returning to Heaven, along with my Husband and family.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
On Thursday night we were just hanging out and he asked if I would like to go on a date next week. I thought for sure that's when he would propose then. When he was leaving he VERY casually asked if I'd like to go hiking with him the next morning so he could build up stamina for his Elders Quorum activity on Tuesday to hike the entirety of Timpanogos. I said yes before he told me that he'd be picking me up at 6:00 am. Good thing, too, because it was going to be the best hike of my life.
Friday I woke up at 5:30, after a whopping five hours of sleep. I thought vaguely as I was brushing my teeth that he's a pretty sneaky guy and might be trying to throw me off by asking me on that date for next week. I quickly brushed it aside, not because I thought I was wrong, but because the last thing I wanted was to get my hopes up only to be disappointed when we got back and I still had no ring on my finger. At multiple points throughout the hike I stopped him to point out the view and give him a hug and a kiss, and I'm sure he was getting frustrated with my dragging pace, but he didn't show it. I didn't know we were trying to do anything but get to the waterfall and turn around.
The hike was absolutely beautiful. *(I LOVE nature, especially trees and animals so this hike was perfect for me. As my mom puts it, if a woodland fairy would like it, so will I.)* Almost the entire trail was covered by beautiful green trees, there were hundreds of butterflies and honeybees, we even saw a family of wild turkey, a few chipmunks, lots of birds, and a doe! So, needless to say, I was having the time of my life.
We finally got to Stewart Falls it was an amazing. The sun was out, the air was warm, the water was cool, and the view of the river and canyon was spectacular. In the back of my mind I thought, "this is such a romantic spot, he should just propose to me right now."
Friday, July 20, 2012
Thank you Cameron for always seeing the best in me and helping me to be better. For always supporting me and standing beside me, for loving me unconditionally, being willing to talk, and for being my best friend. Thank you for the tears of joy (shed on my doorstep because it was after curfew,) for the scriptures and insights shared at all (and I mean ALL) hours of the day, for sharing your light, for holding me close when I am scared or sad, for giving me your best and seeing the best in me. Thank you for honoring your priesthood and temple covenants and responsibilities. Thank you for sharing my goals and helping me to reach higher. I love you with all my heart. November 20th HERE WE COME!
Friday, July 13, 2012
They did this, and I was told that in due time the pain would subside and my vision would be restored. I went to bed with a bag of ice on my face praying that "due time" didn't mean very long.
The next morning I was a wreck. I couldn't focus my left eye, it felt like I'd burned the underside of my eyelid when I was blinking away hot oil, and I'd pealed a few layers of skin off my cheek with the sugar and popcorn. But lo and behold, my lovely roommate had made breakfast for her boyfriend's birthday and had plenty of extra so she shared with me and the other roomies. So sweet.
There was this boy named Cameron who I really, really liked and it was his birthday, too. I was supposed to go hiking with he and his friends but I did not feel in any way up to the task so I called him and said I'd have to cancel. He told me that the whole trip had been cancelled due to his suddenly becoming rather ill (with what we found out after several weeks and 2 trips to the doctor was bronchitis) and he wanted to stay home and rest as well.
I had already made a birthday present for him, so I gathered it up, determined to walk the one and a half miles to his house to give it to him because he was sick on his birthday, and I just really wanted to see him. But my body had other plans. I lost all energy and the will to open my left eye so I lay down on the couch and resigned myself to at least an hour of napping...which never occurred because he called shortly thereafter and said he was on his way to my apartment. On foot. To see me, on his birthday, when he was sick. He said he just couldn't stand to be inside any more and he'd promised to visit his cousin, but it later came out that he really just wanted to see me. ;)
He came over, we held hands (not for the first time), and he asked if I would like to keep dating him and only him. Let's just say I was ecstatic. We both went to the doctor the next day and I was told that my eye should be perfectly healed within the week, and was WAY ahead of schedule for a burn that severe having happened so recently.
Let me just say, the Church is true, priesthood is real, and our Father in Heaven does hear and answer our prayers. Not only pertaining to my healing, which was really miraculous, but also in his helping me find Cameron, who has already answered so may of my prayers just by being himself.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
And by crazy I mean wonderful.
I have so much to be grateful for. All of a sudden I can see the Lord's hand in the vast majority of my struggles over the past several years, and am so grateful for this newfound perspective. I have never been so happy in my life and I hope that I never lose this sense of wonder and joy.
On another note, I've been trying a different form of gratitude journaling. There is a website called gratitude160.com where you can have text messages or emails sent to you up to 3 times daily asking you what you're grateful for. Your responses are recorded (securely) online and a weekly log is sent to you by email eat the end of every week. You can also access it any time you want by just going to the website. Sorry if this feels a bit like an advertisement, but I'm just loving doing this. It helps me to consistently be more in the mindset of being grateful, and opens my eyes to more of my blessings as I try not to say the same things over and over.
I'll try to catch up on my blog posts, but it may be difficult as my family, Cameron, and I are going on vacation to California! It's going to be so much fun, not to mention he gets to meet my family... not sure if that goes under fun or not, but if he still likes me after 15 days of being stuck in the same place as ALL of us then he's definitely a keeper! haha.
Friday, June 8, 2012
This isn't what matters, though. What matters is that she made the choice to be baptized, to covenant with God to keep his commandments and to look after his other children.* And I, through the miracle of modern technology, got to see the whole thing. Yes, my dad skyped me from his phone so that I could participate in a little way even though I was 2,000 miles from them.
I am so grateful for my family, and for the sacrifices that they make for me to be here. I'm grateful for Lizzie and for her example, and for the love of our Father in Heaven.
*Just some background for any of you who are curious why Lizzie waited until she was eight years old to get baptized:
In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we believe that Christ's atonement, where he suffered for our sins and died on the cross and was resurrected, automatically covers the sins of all those who sin unknowingly. We also believe that He payed for Adam's fall, so we have no "original sin," and are therefore completely innocent until we are old enough to understand the difference between right and wrong. We believe that this ability develops around the age of 8 (a fact I actually heard scientific evidence for in my human development class, but can't remember who said it).
Understanding the difference between right and wrong is so important before baptism because it is not only a cleansing of sins, but it is an ordinance wherein we covenant, or promise, with God that we will keep his commandments, take our Savior's name upon us (we will do our best to be like Him and behave in a way that represents Him and reflects well on His church), and that we will always remember Him, in everything that we do. In return, the Lord forgives our sins and sends the Holy Spirit to be with us. Before we can be baptized, we need to be able to know and understand the covenants that we are making, so that we can keep them. This is why we wait until we are eight years old to take this step.
If you have any questions about this, or any of my other beliefs, feel free to leave me a comment! You can also click this link here. Have a lovely day! :)
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Cue Boyfriend. ( I promise there's a point to this tangent.)
A little over a month ago an incredibly cheery guy decided to sit next to me when Men's and Women's chorus were singing together in a BYU devotional. I was having a really bad day but I tried my best to be nice. He asked for my number, friended me on facebook, but I didn't think much of it. Then a week later he asked if I'd like to go on a walk with him on Sunday afternoon. We got to talking and I realized that he had such a light! (see previous post.) He was so optimistic and we have a really similar way of seeing the world. I hardly stopped smiling the entire time I was with him. Something about his love of life and optimism was just contagious. So long story short we started seeing each other pretty frequently and going on dates until we decided that we didn't want to date anyone else and that's where we are now.
So, tangent aside, his light, spirit, and optimism have really made me want to be a better person. I saw how happy he was and when I realized that he wasn't ignoring sad things, they just didn't bother him because of how much he loved everything else, I decided "I want to be like that, too!" So, I have. I am utterly full of God's love, I do my best to recognize the little wonders all around me, and share my joy with everyone I meet. I must say, I feel fantastic. I haven't been more in love with life for such an extended period of time that I can remember, or been filled with so much gratitude.
On a side note, I've finally figured out why I couldn't go to Nauvoo! It's because, if I had gone, I would not have had this wonderful life changing experience, or get to be dating this amazing man. Hallelujah. :)
Friday, May 25, 2012
A few days ago I went to the temple with my friend Cameron (not my brother) and, while we were there, had the opportunity to reflect on the concept of light. The light I'm talking about can't really be seen with our eyes, but is more of a spiritual phenomenon.
In the scriptures Christ told us that he is the "light and the life of the world." Other places in the scriptures, as well as modern day prophets and apostles, talk about the light of Christ. I think that the closer a person is to God in behavior, desire, and communication, the more of that light he or she is given and is able to show to the rest of the world. Some people obviously "shine" brighter than others, and the more in tune with the Spirit you are the easier it is to detect this in others.
So while I was in the temple I saw a lot of youth (kids between the ages of 12-17) and it was so wonderful to see how many of them had such a light about them. They truly shone like angels, as did my friend with whom I was there. He is such a fantastic example to me.
I am so grateful for all of the many people in my life who have the light of Christ with them and do not "hide it under a bushel" (Matt 5:15). I hope that I can learn to share my light with others and help them to feel God's love for them in the way that I have been helped and strengthened.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Yes, you read that correctly.
He genuinely has the spirit with him and is not afraid to hide it--his heart is completely open. I always feel uplifted after reading his blog or listening to his music. I thought this entry, as well as most of them, was really touching.
Friday, May 11, 2012
After the devotional we began to rehearse. We were singing an arrangement of the Hymn "Lord I Would Follow Thee," with two new verses.
Stir my heart with love's compassion,
When in weakness I withhold.
I would heal as thou hast healed me,
Comfort, strengthen, and enfold.
Stir my heart with love's compassion,
Lord, I would follow Thee.
Precious, fleeting is my time here.
Whisper wisdom to my mind,
Courage when my heart is aching,
Faith when fear is all I find.
Precious fleeting is my time here,
Lord, I would follow Thee.
As we sang them, tears started to flow as I felt for the first time the truth and importance of those words. I could finally feel. I knew that my Father loved me, that I was the one that had pushed him away, and I needed to change.
It was difficult at first, to try to allow the walls to fall, because I was certain that the first thing I would feel was pain, but I was simultaneously given love and joy. I found myself smiling and singing again, and it was lovely. It was also hard, and I still felt rather hopeless at times. Although I felt that I should stay in Provo for the summer I almost gave up and went home, because it is so nice to be taken care of and surrounded by family, and so hard to feel alone, but God gave me the strength and courage I needed to do His will as I asked for it.
It has been a long road, and I know there is still a very long way to go before I can even come close to having a heart like the Lord's, but as soon as I let Him in, He has been with me every step of the way and giving me comfort. I love Him, and my Father in Heaven so very much, and I am so grateful for all that they have given to me.
Friday, April 27, 2012
When I am with either the very young or the very old I can feel that Heaven is close. I can feel our Father in Heaven's love more strongly and clearly than I otherwise can. I know that he is waiting, for his own reasons, to welcome my grandmother to the other side where she can rest from her mortal trials. I believe my grandfather, her husband Bob, was there in that room with her, watching out for her as he did all his life until the moment he passed away two years ago.
I am so blessed to have been able to know three of my great-grandparents, and to still have two of my great-grandmothers alive. I'm so grateful for the spirit I feel when I'm with them and for all that they've taught me about perseverance and hard work. I pray for them, and hope that when they have done all they came to this Earth to do that they can slip peacefully to the other side of the veil and be reunited with their loved ones.
I am so grateful for my testimony of the atonement, life after death, and the resurrection. I know that someday I will be able to see these remarkable people again, and be able to live with them as a family forever.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Monday, March 19, 2012
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Monday, February 27, 2012
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Sunday, February 12, 2012
I love my family. They are so amazing. We may be a quirky, nerdy, silly, eclectic group, but we know how to laugh and we know how to love. I got to skype with my family today, and it was fantastic. I miss them so much, and really wish I lived closer to home. Or that they lived closer to here.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
Friday, January 6, 2012
And it came to pass that the voice of the Lord came to them in their afflictions, saying: Lift up your heads and be of good comfort, for I know of the covenant which ye have made unto me; and I will covenant with my people and deliver them out of bondage.
And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.
And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.
And it came to pass that so great was their faith and their patience that the voice of the Lord came unto them again, saying: Be of good comfort, for on the morrow I will deliver you…
The Lord did not take away their trials or burdens, but he helped them to have strength when they turned to him; and it wasn't until after they were patient and cheerful in their afflictions that he delivered them completely. It's so hard to have this much faith and to be optimistic, and I'm having a lot of trouble dealing with rejection over and over again. I pray that I can be as faithful and strong as these people, and stop asking "why me" and focus on this scripture: peace be unto thy soul, thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; and then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt the on high. (D&C 121: 7-8) I need to remember that relief will not be instant, but it will come, as long as I persevere and continue in faith.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
". . . and having seen many afflictions in the course of my days, nevertheless, having been highly favored of the Lord in all my days. . ."I realized that these two things are not mutually exclusive. Just because we are experiencing affliction, that does not mean we aren't also being blessed. Nephi had A LOT of hardship in his life, but he stayed positive and seemingly never failed to point out how blessed he was.
2. holding tiny hands, even when they're dirty, sticky, and most likely germy.
3. baby spit-up. Yes, it smells bad, but I still find it adorable.
4. kissing in general. It's probably not the most sanitary thing, but I honestly don't care.
5. couples sharing drinks.