How to Have an Absolutely Fantabulous Marriage in 10 Easy Steps--Some Things Should be Sacred

Some things ought to be kept sacred. What happens behind closed doors should stay there. I'm not only talking about "what happens in the bedroom," although that's definitely up there on the list.

If you treat something as sacred, you make it special. It's private, and it's important. You don't tell the whole world, or facebook, or even your mother. Your relationship with your spouse is very special, and won't last if neither of you feel that you can trust each other or that you don't have the privacy you need. It will not help your relationship if you go to your friends or parents or siblings with stories about sex, disagreements, or insecurities. All it will do is damage your spouse in that person's eyes and hurt your spouse's trust and ability to be honest and vulnerable with you.

Talk things over with your spouse. If you are upset and need to vent, (it's ok, it happens sometimes) prayer and journaling are both great ways to get your emotions out and think through how you really feel without saying things that you don't mean to your spouse or saying things that are only your business to other people.

This summer I was going through a rough patch emotionally and physically (morning sickness is no picnic) and I got really frustrated with myself as well as being more irritable in general. I asked Cameron to not read my journal (not that he did before, but I just wanted him to know that I needed that to be a private place in case I ever left it out) and put all of my frustrations in there. Sometimes I've used my journal to keep my emotions pent up, but this summer I used it to let off steam. I said things in there that I didn't really mean, or would have sounded wrong if I said them out loud. I needed somewhere to gather my thoughts before I went to Cameron with problems or for help so that I didn't say something hurtful.

Before we were married I would have vented to my mom. She and I have always been close and I used to tell her everything. I've learned now that some things are meant for just Cameron and I, and that's ok. It doesn't mean I love my mom any less or that we're not as close. I can still talk to her about wishing we had a dishwasher or pregnancy questions or anything that isn't private and between my husband and I.

Don't post your feelings about relationship problems on facebook, twitter, or other social media and public places. It's not good for your relationship and it's awkward for others. If it's a cry for help and you want your spouse to see it and fix whatever problem, this isn't the place or the way to do it. Instead, talk to them in person. If you really are too upset to talk, consider writing a letter or email, carefully going over it to make sure that you're not being hurtful, only honest, and asking your spouse to read it.

Keeping these things out of public eyes doesn't mean you're lying. You don't need to pretend to anyone that you have a perfect marriage. It's ok to admit to faults and problems. However, sharing details of your personal life with your spouse is not something that should be done without careful consideration and consent. It's his (or her) relationship as well, not just yours.

Happy things can be sacred, too. There are times when I just want to tell the whole world how wonderful my husband is because he did x, y, and z for me! I have trouble holding it in, but sometimes there are things that should stay just between us, even if they are wonderful and make me incredibly happy. I try not to post the contents of the love notes he leaves me, or sometimes the gifts or acts of service he does for me. Because I love and appreciate them so much, they are very special and something that ought to be just between the two of us.

There are rare occasions when this rule needs to be thrown out the window. If you feel that you are in an abusive relationship and you have tried to communicate this to your spouse and nothing has changed, seek help. Don't try to hide or be strong. It's not selfish to protect yourself from physical or emotional harm. Do it in the proper way (again, not in your facebook status) but do something about it. You never have to be stuck somewhere where you do not feel safe. It doesn't have to mean divorce. I know people who have mended a relationship that was on the verge of falling apart and are now blissfully married, but I know others where it was good and necessary for the couple to separate. Consult the Lord as to how to deal with your specific situation. He loves you and he will not lead you astray.

Don't forget to tell your spouse how much you love them today!

Projects I Might Possibly Someday Have Time For

I have too much that I want to do before baby comes that isn't on the top of my priority list, and therefore not getting done. Mostly, I need to stop browsing facebook and pinterest so that I A) stop wasting time there that could be used doing fun and productive things and B) stop finding ideas for more things to do! I also need to lear to multitask better so I can sew and watch olympics at the same time.

Here are some of the projects I really want to make for baby.

I'm obsessed with these darling little bow ties. I doubt I'll have the energy to dress him up all the time, but if my little guy could look dapper for church every once in a while, I would love that!

This tutorial is from SlowMama.com, and I think it's my favorite out of the many I've looked at. Can't wait to try it!

Last easter Cameron got me fabric to make myself a new skirt and I used the leftovers to make him a matching tie! I know, I'm one of those newlyweds. Today I thought to myself, how cute would it be to make our baby a tie to match his Daddy? Yup, now I'm that mom. It would look so cute if I could make him some little matching shorts, too. Sadly, I don't think I have much of that fabric left. I'll have to see if Joann's is carrying the same ones this year.

This tutorial is from TheDIYMommy.com

I love these little cardigan onesies. Again, I want my little boy to be dapper on occasion. I was thinking I could somehow alter this pattern to make a blazer as well, so that I could make him a men's chorus uniform to match his Daddy's. This tutorial is from Diesel in Bloom.

I want to try to make some jammies for Baby, too, with the leftover fabric from the carseat cover and the madras plaid flannel I used to make the pants. This pattern is for using an adult t-shirt as your fabric so you can use the original collar instead of having to finish the edge yourself, which I think is genius. Courtesy of Feather's Flights.

Here's another fantastic "upcycle" pattern that uses old sweaters to make jammies. We just so happen to have a few well loved sweaters hanging around (and DI always has some as well.) I think these look adorable and comfy. These are from Corduroy's Closet.

So, it's doubtful I'll get most, if any, of these done before baby arrives, but hopefully I'll at least get the chance to make a cute little tie or something!

French Baguettes

I have to admit that with all the talk about the protests and riots and barricades in Kiev, it's made me think a little bit about Les Miserables. So, yesterday I decided to watch it. In the first half of the movie there are several references to bread so, naturally, I started making a couple of baguettes while I watched! I found a fantastic recipe on allrecipes.com, but the instructions only tell you how to make it in bread machine. I don't have one of those, so I adapted the recipe for making it by hand!

Ingredients:
1 cup Warm Water
2½ - 3 cups Bread Flour
1 Tablespoon White Sugar
1 teaspoon Salt
1½ teaspoons Yeast

Directions:
1) Put warm water, yeast, and sugar in bowl and let it sit about 10 minutes.
2) Add 2½ flour and salt. Mix until thoroughly blended, adding more flour as (and if) needed. Kneed for about 10-15 minutes.
3) Place in greased bowl and cover with plastic wrap. Let it rise a half hour, or until doubled in size.
4) Punch down dough. Roll out into large rectangle (about 16" x 12") and cut in half.
5) Roll each half into a loaf. Make sure to get the air bubbles out as you do this. Place loaves on greased baking sheet at least 3 inches apart. If you want to, now is the time to add those fun, decorative gashes. Cover with plastic wrap* and let it rise about a half hour, or until doubled in size.
*Now is a good time to start pre-heating the oven to 375 degrees.
6) Remove plastic wrap. Spray loaves generously with water and place in oven on center rack. The water will help make the crust more thick and crusty, the way a baguette should be. I have no idea why this works, but it does. Bake 20-25 minutes, or until golden brown.

We ate one last night with garlic spread (easiest and tastiest recipe ever. I'll share it soon) and tonight we'll probably make some bruschetta since we need to use the bread before it gets stale :)

How to Plan a Christmas Program

**UPDATE** I am so surprised that 8 years later, I am still getting requests to share this program! Though I’m proud of that program, I’ve organized several since then that I feel are much more centered on the Savior, Jesus Christ, and His gospel, so I would like to share the most recent of those with you. Nearly all of the text is taken from the scriptures. You could easily adapt this to be done with one narrator, but I found that by inviting several people to participate we were able to help nearly our whole ward feel known and included. The congregational hymns are taken from the book Hymns, from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I hope that this helps you bring the spirit of Christ to your Christmas celebrations this year. 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1U6kxZx_BtF-rU-8iX8tTawWfJLjD2wQaJPf7z7FSr2M/edit

Original Post

This year I was in charge of putting together the ward Christmas program. It was a lot more work than I expected and I couldn't have done it without the wonderful people who helped with the readings and music, and of course, the Savior. Overall I think it turned out really well, and I'm excited to keep working on and improving this program.

For anyone looking to write their own Christmas program, let me just say, keep it simple. For text, use the scriptures. For music, look to the hymns before going elsewhere. A pattern that I've noticed in other programs and used for the one I wrote is to have one or two readers reading from the scriptures, with some commentary thrown in if you like, and musical numbers and speakers intermingled throughout as they correspond with the text.

Make sure that you ask people who you would like to participate, especially soloists, well in advance. This way they can have time to practice and feel comfortable with everything, plus it's just polite. Most people can't sightread their way through a complex piece. Give them time to learn it.

If you would like to borrow mine, or use it as a reference, you are more than welcome to! Here it is:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B3PBFcn4jMuMNjBWTWtla0lNcGM/edit?usp=sharing

The text I used comes mostly from the King James Bible. The hymns I used can be found here. "Come, Lord Jesus" is from a program that the LDS church puts on at the Conference Center every year called "Savior of the World," and can be downloaded here.

Have a very merry Christmas!