He Knows Me

God is good.

All the time.

Even when I get frustrated and stamp my feet and shout at the sky,

"Why can't something just work out the way I want it to!?"

Yup, even then.

Because in the midst of this ranting and fussing and womanly indignation I come inside to find a nine page letter from my really good friend who is on his mission. I was wondering why it was taking him so long to write me back. Now I know. It was so that I could have that little bit of comfort and a reminder of my previously more optimistic outlook on trials, right at that moment when I needed a hug and some Humble Pie.

Thank you Father for knowing me, and knowing how to care for me,

and thank you Anders for your wonderful letter.

Something Anders reminded me of that I had told him in the last letter I sent him:

In the hymn "Nearer my God to Thee," there is a line that says "[I wish to be] Nearer to Thee, e'en though it be a cross that raiseth me." Our trials bring us closer to the Lord, if we let them. If we want to be closer to our Father in Heaven we have to be willing to go through trials to get there. I need to do a better job of remembering that when I'm actually going through something difficult.

Try a Little Harder to Be a Little Better

I have been trying lately to be the person I want to become. It has been mostly subconscious, a series of choices that have led to a change of habits and way of thinking. I have been trying to allow the Savior to change me, and the moment I let go of my fears and pride the tiniest bit He began working. I have been blessed with incredible patience, motivation, and love. I have been given glimpses of how He sees those around me. He has given me so many second chances, and in trying to be like Him, I've found myself naturally wanting to do the same for others.

The Lord is great. He loves us, He wants us to be happy, and He wants us to be like Him. It is not easy, and we will mess up, but that doesn't mean we are lost. He will always do what is best for us, even if we cannot understand how or why.

I know that if every day each of us were to try a little harder to be a little better, that we would succeed, we would be happier, and the world would be a much nicer place, both because of our perception and the effect we would have on it.

Good friends

My friend Elizabeth blogs like mad, and I love reading everything she posts. Today her entry was particularly inspiring. Check it out :)

I am so grateful for all my wonderful friends who are such good examples to me of optimism and good natured fun.

I love being able to be my goofy self with my friends and family. I love that I have friends who will text me and remind me to pray, or be grateful, or just send a smile :)

Life is sweet. It may not be perfect, I may not be perfect, but our Savior is, and because of that I can be at peace with whatever happens.

Choices

I've been faced with a lot of choices lately, and as my mom can tell you, I don't like making big decisions. It got to the point where all I wanted to do was sit in my bed and mope and think about how hard everything was. (which is not in any way helpful just in case you were wondering.) I was staring my problems in the face and waiting for them to go away, but it just wasn't happening.

I was going through my New Testament notes one day and I saw something that had stood out to me before, but I had failed to take to heart. It said that to find peace we have to stop looking at our problems and look at the solution: our Savior.

I realized that I hadn't been really accepting my Father in Heaven's help, even though I'd been on my knees asking for it. I was too proud to let go of my anger and pain so that He could take it. Once I realized this, I went straight to my knees, apologized for my stubbornness, and asked for help to be humble and to have the courage to do what I knew what was right. I then got up and made the biggest choice: to be happy. I told myself that I was so blessed and had nothing to be upset about. I was done with Pity Parties and pouting, and I was going to be cheerful and grateful for everything I had. It didn't matter what I lacked, because I have a Father in Heaven that loves me and a Savior that gave his life for me so that I could return to Heaven. I have a loving family here on Earth, fantastic friends, and everything necessary to life. What more could I ask for?

I recognized that this was easier said than done, so I told my roommates and close friends my resolution, and that if I were upset about anything trivial that they were to give me a hug and tell me to stop worrying about it because everything is wonderful. The surprising thing is that I haven't even been tempted to mope around my house since then (about a week ago.) My problems aren't gone, but with an eternal perspective they look so much smaller. I am so grateful to my Father in Heaven for his love and help and for enabling me to live in a happy way.