Ramblings on Education and Motherhood.

Today I am grateful for my baby. I love him so much! Since he has started eating more solid food and sleeping better at night he seems happier and happier all the time. There are still rough moments, but his personality is blossoming and it is beautiful to see.

Recently Cameron and I have felt that we need to explore other options for grad school. It's exciting and terrifying at the same time because I will most likely have to do many years of taking classes through independent study to finish my degree if we leave. I started looking at options for graduating and for a brief moment I saw a glimpse of myself and my dear husband standing together in our graduation robes, holding our sweet little boy and walking across that stage together. It would be so wonderful, but unless they somehow decide that being a mom erases the need for completing a major, it's just not going to happen. It's hard to give up that dream. I may not ever dress in blue robes and a silly cap and shake the university presidents hand, because I will probably be graduating from somewhere far away, a long time down the road. It's really hard to just close that door but this is what I chose.

I felt strongly that having Sam when we did was what the Lord wanted for us. I still feel that way. I feel that taking a light load of classes so that most of my time can be spent in being a mother is the right thing for me. I have no regrets. I wish I could get a degree just for having a baby, but it doesn't work that way, and I know that I have chosen the best path for me. This is what the Lord has asked me to do and I will finish it.

My family comes first and foremost. I would not trade Samuel or my time with him for anything! I am so grateful for the joy and love that he brings to my life. Whenever I am tired or stressed his loving smiles and infectious giggles and his incessant babbling of "mamamamama" make everything wonderful! I love him so much and want to be my best for him. 

Random Update on Our Life

I haven't written in forever. School has been very busy, being a mom has been busy, realizing that plans for six months from now will probably change drastically (No, we're not pregnant)
so, blogging falls by the wayside.

But life has been full of so many blessings!

Samuel continues to grow. He hasn't gained much weight recently, my milk supply has probably gone down since he has to take a bottle most days that I'm at school, but we caught it early and the doctor is helping us get a routine set up to help him get the food he needs.

I got an A on my first ASL test! Which is awesome, 'cause last semester was not quite so good. I'm also loving my English class. I LOVE the way my teacher sets everything up and forces us to work on our essays slowly by having us turn them in piece by piece, focussing on different aspects every time! It's helping my writing so much.

I have also submitted a piece to a magazine! I think I'd like to do more of that! I don't know yet if it will be published or not, but I've decided that I'd like to try to write more, and if I can get published that would be fantastic! I'm also currently working on two children's books. An illustrating major just moved into our ward, so I may have to ask if she'd like to collaborate.

Cameron is thinking of other options for grad school (we were originally planning to stay here) so that potentially puts me in a tough spot for graduating. Still totally doable, I'd just have to do online classes if we left Provo. But we're praying and counseling together and I'm sure we'll find the best solution. (I just hope it's soon so we can plan for the future!)

General conference was AWESOME. My dad was able to come out early for a business trip and spend sunday conference with us, and Cameron's mom and little sister came up for Saturday conference. It was so wonderful to see them! I also made my mom's oh-so-delicious cinnamon rolls and they were awesome! (I'll probably share the recipe on here sometime because it is SO good!)
and, of course, I absolutely loved the messages that were shared! I especially loved all the messages about being kind and courteous to others, regardless of whether we have different beliefs. I know I struggled with that a little when I was younger, and it can still be hard to respond with kindness when people are cruel or hurtful to me or others, but I have a testimony that God wants us to love each other and treat each other well. I hope that I can continue to try to become more christ-like, especially as I go back and listen to the talks from conference over again.

Sam's sleep training is going really well! (Except last night he woke up several times, but I think that he is legitimately teething this time, so we'll let it slide and hope it doesn't become the norm.) He felt so bad for keeping me up all night last night that he let me take an almost-three-hour nap with him today! It was much needed.

Thanks for letting me just blurt out random pieces of news. I am loving life! I am loving a more structured schedule for Sam, and I love the Lord!
Happy October!

(here's a sneak peak of some pictures my dad took of us over the weekend!)

fiber

So... is anyone else's Wymount internet really slow lately? Are the Google fiber vans taking their shortcuts through our streets taunting anyone else? *sigh*

I don't mean to complain, but you'd think a university would be the first ones to jump on this bandwagon. BYU, can we please get google fiber? Pretty, pretty, please with sugar on top?

I'm not sure who one would contact about this, but I vote we make a polite request to the powers that be to get Google fiber for on-campus housing, and campus in general.

p.s. I had way too much fun yesterday making this poster/meme/thingy

Leaky Faucet...

I once heard that your heart is about the same size as your fist and, as pointed out to me this morning, I have really small hands. So, proportionally, I should have a small heart.

This makes sense to me. Not just because I'm a small person, but because what other people seem to be able to sit through quite neutrally often brings me to tears--especially things pertaining to the Gospel and my Father's love for me and all of his children. My little heart just can't handle all of the grandeur, wonder, and love that I feel in these situations, and so it usually comes out my eyes. I just had one of those wonderful moments in my New Testament class.

So if you happen to see me on campus with one little tear on my cheek, or maybe a lot, but I'm smiling, don't panic. I probably just had a fantastically spiritual experience and am full of love and sunshine to the point of bursting.

Finals-- study break

just a few random thoughts I'm jotting down so they stop floating around in my brain while I'm trying to write. Plus trying to stay positive during the 2nd craziest week of the year (I would argue that the week before finals is actually worse because you have your normal class schedule, plus reviews, plus studying, plus excitement for break, plus end-of-the-semester fatigue)

1. "stressed" spelled backwards is "desserts," which shows that by baking when I am stressed out, I am logically doing the opposite of being stressed. I knew there was a reason :)

2. I am really glad I ran into Ashley in the library so I didn't have to eat alone when it was lunch time. plus she's just awesome.

3. I get to go home in FOUR DAYS!

4. BYU's pretty cool, minus finals

5. If I finish all of my finals by Wednesday night, I am allowed to watch psych with my friends. If not, I have to stay in the library and study. If that's not motivation, I don't know what is.

6. random observation: there's not very much snow on the mountains

7. another RO: glittery nail polish chips faster than glossy

8. The library is actually quiet here :)

9. The library and my apartment are nice and warm, even when it's cold outside.

10. I should probably go back to studying.....

My room mates, my classes, my testimony

It has become a lot harder for me to find the time to post, now that school has started, but I'm determined to keep this up. So far I have been loving my classes, I just hope I can keep my motivation up. I decided to add two dance classes to my schedule, which I am excited for, but I hope that they don't effect my productivity for the worse. I am so grateful for my room mates. They are all so sweet and kind, and do so much to help me feel included. I love them already. I can tell that we're going to have a great time this year.

My favorite class so far has been New Testament. My teacher is so passionate, not just about the secular, historical part, but also about the religion. He brings the spirit into the class before he even steps up to the podium, and not only teaches, but preaches with a strong, authoritative testimony of our Lord. It is absolutely amazing to be his pupil and to have the opportunity to be here at this university where I have the chance to be taught and study with people who share my devotion, faith, and passion for the Gospel of Christ. I know that He lives, that he loves me, and I will gladly sing His praise every day of my life. I am so grateful for the love that my Heavenly Father has shown me in my youth, not only because of the joy and comfort it gives me, but so that I can share it with others.

2 Timothy 1:7-8

Back to School

I am back in Provo! It's really weird living south of campus, in an apartment, in a singles ward with no pre-mission guys. I'm really grateful to my grandparents for taking me in and letting me stay with them, taking me shopping, making sure I'm fed, and helping me move in to the new apartment. I'm really glad that I have family here. I literally would not be able to make this transition by myself, emotionally or physically.

My room mates and I are getting along super well! They are all incredibly sweet and nice. We have a lot in common, and we're excited for classes to start and to get to know our ward. We took some room mate pictures earlier and it was fun :)

General Conference and other such shenanigans

Wow, so I am really bad at posting regularly. Anyways, fall term is going wonderfully despite the increased academic load. Ballroom is super fun, as are Book of Mormon, Aerobics, and choir. I am in the BYU Women's Chorus, which is super exciting :) I missed singing in an audition choir so much over the summer. Not that I don't love people who aren't amazing singers, it's just easier to progress when everyone is at the same level. Our first concert was last weekend and it went really well, but I was disappointed that we didn't get to see the other groups.

This morning I went to general conference with my room mates in Salt Lake City and it was AMAZING. The spirit was so strong and the sound was so much better than watching it broadcasted on the computer. My room mate Elizabeth's parents and brother came out for conference and afterwords they took us to lunch at In-n-out burger. It was delightful. In between Conference and lunch we went to temple square and walked around the grounds and went in the visitors center which was super fun. I had a nice chat with some sister missionaries, one of which was from Kalamazoo, and the other from Allen, TX where my really good friend stayed for several transfers on his mission.

I absolutely love my new room mates. we all get along really well and our personality and senses of humor are all pretty similar which is great. The girl I actually share a bedroom with is named Jessica and she is from a little town in Idaho called Mud Lake. She actually lived on a farm and got a week or two off of school in the fall for spud harvest and knows all of this stuff about animals that I never even thought about. She also laughs at the "fresh" milk from the creamery and says I have to try "real fresh milk" sometime. She likes dancing and did Idaho Junior Miss for several years and she's just all around nice.

That's all for now, I'll try harder to post regularly from now on!

One year later...

It has been a really long time since I've written, due mostly to laziness and also to the fact that the number of people who had no idea what was going on in my life but were interested was pretty much zero. So now that I am really far away from home, I think I'll pick this back up.

BYU is absolutely WONDERFUL. Everyone is so kind as caring, and random guys you don't know will hold the door for you and ask how your day is going. Strangers look you in the eye and say "good morning" when they walk past you and honestly, it is amazingly refreshing to feel that there is a bond between us simply because we're all human and we are all willing to live by the same standards. I am so glad that I chose to come here.

It took me a while, but I am almost used to the thin atmosphere and am in significantly better shape than I was at home thanks to all the walking. Seriously, if I want to get groceries, a smoothie, do laundry, go to class, pretty much anything, I have to walk. It gets a little tiring, but it makes up for my lack of a perfectly balanced diet.

My room mates and I get along very well and we have a lot of fun being absolutely insane together. We also have a lot of fun with our FHE brothers, or my sons and my room mates brothers. My calling is to be the "mother" of our group and I enjoy it. It worked out very well, actually, because when people ask me what I want to study, I say "I have no idea, I know going to school is important and I love to learn, but I just really want to be a mom." I guess I got my wish :).

The semester has gone really fast, and frankly I don't want it to end in a week. I'm finally making friends and getting acclimated, and now we're all leaving for two weeks and not coming back to the same ward. Its a little depressing. Thankfully I made a few friends that live in Utah so I might be able to hang out with them while I'm at my Grandparents house for two weeks.

That's it for now but I love everyone back home and hope you are all having a great summer!