Ramblings on Education and Motherhood.

Today I am grateful for my baby. I love him so much! Since he has started eating more solid food and sleeping better at night he seems happier and happier all the time. There are still rough moments, but his personality is blossoming and it is beautiful to see.

Recently Cameron and I have felt that we need to explore other options for grad school. It's exciting and terrifying at the same time because I will most likely have to do many years of taking classes through independent study to finish my degree if we leave. I started looking at options for graduating and for a brief moment I saw a glimpse of myself and my dear husband standing together in our graduation robes, holding our sweet little boy and walking across that stage together. It would be so wonderful, but unless they somehow decide that being a mom erases the need for completing a major, it's just not going to happen. It's hard to give up that dream. I may not ever dress in blue robes and a silly cap and shake the university presidents hand, because I will probably be graduating from somewhere far away, a long time down the road. It's really hard to just close that door but this is what I chose.

I felt strongly that having Sam when we did was what the Lord wanted for us. I still feel that way. I feel that taking a light load of classes so that most of my time can be spent in being a mother is the right thing for me. I have no regrets. I wish I could get a degree just for having a baby, but it doesn't work that way, and I know that I have chosen the best path for me. This is what the Lord has asked me to do and I will finish it.

My family comes first and foremost. I would not trade Samuel or my time with him for anything! I am so grateful for the joy and love that he brings to my life. Whenever I am tired or stressed his loving smiles and infectious giggles and his incessant babbling of "mamamamama" make everything wonderful! I love him so much and want to be my best for him. 

Finals-- study break

just a few random thoughts I'm jotting down so they stop floating around in my brain while I'm trying to write. Plus trying to stay positive during the 2nd craziest week of the year (I would argue that the week before finals is actually worse because you have your normal class schedule, plus reviews, plus studying, plus excitement for break, plus end-of-the-semester fatigue)

1. "stressed" spelled backwards is "desserts," which shows that by baking when I am stressed out, I am logically doing the opposite of being stressed. I knew there was a reason :)

2. I am really glad I ran into Ashley in the library so I didn't have to eat alone when it was lunch time. plus she's just awesome.

3. I get to go home in FOUR DAYS!

4. BYU's pretty cool, minus finals

5. If I finish all of my finals by Wednesday night, I am allowed to watch psych with my friends. If not, I have to stay in the library and study. If that's not motivation, I don't know what is.

6. random observation: there's not very much snow on the mountains

7. another RO: glittery nail polish chips faster than glossy

8. The library is actually quiet here :)

9. The library and my apartment are nice and warm, even when it's cold outside.

10. I should probably go back to studying.....

busy, busy, busy

I've been very busy lately. School doesn't seem to be giving me much of break until about a month from now. It's tiring, but I'm enjoying almost all of it, and keeping my head above water.

I've committed to reading at least 2 pages a day from the Book of Mormon, and finish it before the end of the school year. I'm loving it. It's amazing to me how the small amount of time I am giving to the Lord is being repaid with so much confidence and spiritual awareness. I've also been reading, The Skrewtape Letters by C S Lewis. It's pure genius. His understanding of the Lord and of human nature is absolutely mind blowing. He's phenomenal. I'm so glad to read something for pleasure and not for school, it has been way too long. Next on my list is either Mere Christianity or The Great Divorce, also by C S Lewis.

I'll try to post more often, and just keep swimming until Thanksgiving break, when I will be in . . . CALIFORNIA. Thank you Grandma :)

My room mates, my classes, my testimony

It has become a lot harder for me to find the time to post, now that school has started, but I'm determined to keep this up. So far I have been loving my classes, I just hope I can keep my motivation up. I decided to add two dance classes to my schedule, which I am excited for, but I hope that they don't effect my productivity for the worse. I am so grateful for my room mates. They are all so sweet and kind, and do so much to help me feel included. I love them already. I can tell that we're going to have a great time this year.

My favorite class so far has been New Testament. My teacher is so passionate, not just about the secular, historical part, but also about the religion. He brings the spirit into the class before he even steps up to the podium, and not only teaches, but preaches with a strong, authoritative testimony of our Lord. It is absolutely amazing to be his pupil and to have the opportunity to be here at this university where I have the chance to be taught and study with people who share my devotion, faith, and passion for the Gospel of Christ. I know that He lives, that he loves me, and I will gladly sing His praise every day of my life. I am so grateful for the love that my Heavenly Father has shown me in my youth, not only because of the joy and comfort it gives me, but so that I can share it with others.

2 Timothy 1:7-8

Last Post for a Little While

I'll be going to choir camp tomorrow, and it should be super fun, but for some reason I feel like staying home. Its only about two weeks until I go back to BYU and I'm really going to miss my family, old friends, and new friends from the singles ward. I wish I could bring them all with me, because I really love BYU but I don't like that scary period of time where I don't know anyone in my classes or ward. I'm excited though, for camp and school. I'm really grateful that I got to come home for the summer, and for all the time I got to spend with my family, and that I have the means to attend BYU. Can't wait to see all my friends there :)