"I will not leave you comfortless"

Today I am filled with gratitude for my Savior. At times of such intense emotion, I often have difficulty finding my own words, so I've found myself quoting songs and scriptures when trying to describe my feelings. Most of them are in His praise, but I have found one phrase returning to my mind that is a promise from Him:

"I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you."

In my time of trial, he has surely come to me. His spirit has not left my side, and he has sent friends to me to comfort and strengthen me. I am so blessed to have knowledge of my savior and his goodness. I love him, I love his gospel, and I love my life, however trying it may be. I am grateful for my trials, as they give me an opportunity to learn and grow closer to him. Too often I say to myself that I don't want to learn anymore, I'm tired of growing. It's too hard. But today, I am strangely optimistic. I am making the choice to take the higher road mentioned by Paul in Romans 5, of allowing our tribulations to teach us patience, give us experience, endow us with hope, and take away our shame.

We always have a choice. No matter how hard our situation is, if we choose to look up, it will inevitably get better. I was told yesterday in my Stake Conference by our stake Relief Society President that if we face our challenges with optimism, things will always work out. I believe that.

The URL of my blog is 2 Timothy 1:8, but if you go back a verse, you find this

"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power and of love, and of a sound mind."

The Lord wants us to succeed. He is always supporting us, as long as we let him. He knows us individually, and loves us more than we can comprehend.

"Whenever God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window"

Whenever you open yourself up to let someone in, it makes you more vulnerable, more fragile, and sometimes it stinks. Everything seems bigger than it is, and I'm already gifted in making a mountain out of a molehill, so it feels like Everest is staring me in the face. I just have to say "oh well" and start climbing. Today has been one of those days

Thankfully, I have been given wonderful friends. Not only did I have friends spontaneously talk to me, leading to fun times, last night, but I had a wonderful time in church in preparation for my not-so-great afternoon. My beautiful next door neighbors took me in, since my room mates are gone. They talked to me, and distracted me, and invited me to stay for dinner as well! They are so sweet. My gorgeous friend Michelle also called me and wants to do something fun to help me get my mind off of the sad thing.

The Lord has also helped me to try and look outwards during this itty-bitty trial, and to think momentarily of others. This is hard, but when I do it, I always feel better. I'm grateful for the promptings of the Holy Ghost to care for others and their hardships.

My Wonderful Family

I love my family. They are so amazing. We may be a quirky, nerdy, silly, eclectic group, but we know how to laugh and we know how to love. I got to skype with my family today, and it was fantastic. I miss them so much, and really wish I lived closer to home. Or that they lived closer to here.

I love that we all love music and make it together. I love that my little brother is enough of a man to make up for the fact that he's the only boy out of five kids, and that he's willing to put up with the rest of our girly ways.

I love that we're such comedians. I think we inherited it from my dad... actually I'm positive. He's hilarious, and I love it. I don't think we had more than one or two conversations over Christmas break that didn't end with me crying from laughter. I love laughing, and I love being happy, and I'm so grateful for my family's ability to help me stay that way.

I love that we have so many common interests, and also so many different ones. For example, we've all played soccer, all of the girls have taken dance classes, and we all sing or play an instrument. Cameron is a PRO beatboxer. He and my sister Sarah frequently do spontaneous dubstep arrangements, and it's awesome. It drives Mary crazy, who much prefers her classical piano and flute (she's a prodigy--absolutely amazing at everything she tries), and Lizzie just goes crazy dancing and singing to any music being made or played on the computer.

My parents are wonderful. They are such hard workers, and so kind and generous to others. My dad is such an amazing example of patience and love. I've rarely seen a man look at a woman with so much love as I see on my dad's face when he comes home. I want to marry someone who looks at me that way.

Besides always being there for me to talk to, and offer advice, I love how good of a cook my mom is, and how she's taught me her magical ways in the art of perfect baking. Not only does everything that comes out of her kitchen taste good, but it looks amazing as well! She's a wizard. No lie.

I'm so grateful for the examples ALL of the members of my family set for me, and that even though I'm 2,000 miles away, I can stay in contact with them and have the promise of being with them forever.

A Little Taste of Motherhood

For the past 3 weeks I was babysitting my cousins in Orem, and it was tiring. Don't get me wrong, I loved it, but I am also glad that I don't actually have four kids, a full load of classes, and no husband to help and offer emotional support. I really did have a fantastic time, though. It felt so good to be caring for children. It just felt so right. People are meant to be in families, and I can't wait until I can have my own. Don't worry, I'm not going to rush into anything; but as much as I am enjoying my single life, I know that I don't want to be here forever. I have always felt that there was nothing more important for me than becoming a mother and raising my children the best that I can. Again, I'm not in any hurry, but I'm excited for when the time comes. Although I am emotionally exhausted, I am so grateful for this amazing opportunity that I had, and for my wonderful cousins. I love them so much :)

I will, however, enjoy not having a sick baby join me in my bed in the middle of the night ;)