Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Forgiveness is Hard

Sometimes there's someone who you haven't seen in two years and you think that you've forgiven them for whatever happened.

And then you run into them unexpectedly.

And they insist on standing there awkwardly trying to talk to you, "Wow, has it really been that long... yup... well..."

And you can't say anything because you're not sure if you want to tell them all the horrible things you thought of saying years ago, or thinking if your husband was there he'd punch this person in the face, or cry because you feel badly for having these mean thoughts when you thought you were over it. And you're hoping that if it gets awkward enough this person will just leave, which they finally do with a "good to see you," which just makes you feel worse for feeling like you're lying when you return the phrase.

Yeah, this happened to me today.

And then, I thought of the Savior. He died for this person and loves him just as much as he loves me. I thought of him saying "Of you it is required to forgive all men." (D&C 64) I want to have a softer heart. I want to forgive. I want to be like my Savior. Some people sure make it hard.
Me. I make it hard on myself. No matter what others do to me I need to take responsibility for my feelings as well as my actions.

Tonight I am praying for a change of heart. I want to be able to forgive. I want to be able to love others. I want to feel that my Savior is proud of me. I want to be my best self.

I am grateful for the atonement, that it allows me to be able to repent. It helps me to change and grow and put the past behind me. I thank my Father in Heaven for loving me and being patient with my imperfections.

(Image from LDS Media Library)

Learning to Forgive from the Savior

disclaimer: this story is not about an ex-boyfriend. 

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