Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Why I'm Glad I Was Engaged and Married Before I Was 23

I am so in love with my husband. Why? Well, for one, he's practically perfect. But besides that, he shows his love to me. I appreciate that so much. He makes me feel so loved all the time that I can't help but be overjoyed and completely in love with him back! The last few days of break before he went back to school we spent a few afternoons just spending time with each other and it turned into sitting on the couch talking, flirting, and just expressing how much we love each other. I know it sounds totally cheesy and silly, but it made us both so happy. Because we keep feeding our relationship, we just get more and more happy and excited to be with each other.

There's been an article going around facebook that talks about why you should wait to get engaged and married, but I think most of the points are silly. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I feel like I need to stand up and say, "I support marriage and "old fashioned" values. Being born when I was doesn't mean that I automatically have to give up hope that marriage could actually mean something more than a fancy wedding and a pre-nup."

 I suppose for some people it might be easier to have adventures on their own, but being adventurous doesn't mean you have to make dumb decisions. I'm sorry, but making out with strangers is not my idea of a good time. I'd rather kiss my husband. And what's wrong with snuggling the person you love, who also happens to be your best friend?

"If a person is your eternal love", why wait? If you know that you will love that person forever and want to be with them, why are you putting other priorities ahead of them? Yes, it can be scary to have to try to coordinate two educations, jobs, cultures, personalities, but honestly, the longer you wait, the harder it will get.

I am a very timid person when it comes to trying new things. I hadn't even been on a roller coaster until I met Cameron. I am much more adventurous now than I ever was before I started dating him. Recently Cameron and I were talking about where we would like to settle our family. I said something to the effect of "I think that I could adjust to any situation we're put into, even if it's not my ideal setting." Cameron remarked that I would not have said that when we met. It's so true! He has helped me to grow in ways that I wouldn't let myself when I was single. Marriage is about growth, it's about learning to care about more than just yourself, and it's about becoming your best self. It's not being tied down, giving up your freedom, or losing your identity. All of those things are expanded in a healthy relationship.

Being married doesn't mean that you have to settle down immediately and never travel or have fun. Some people choose to settle down, and that's fine. Others take their time as "newlyweds" to have fun and go on adventures together! Cameron and I haven't had the money to travel the world, but we have tried to take advantage of the fun opportunities around us, and to make adventures for ourselves close to home.

This article also talked about how getting married means that you'll get "knocked up and fat." I really dislike the phrase "knocked up." I think it's crude, demeaning, and degrading to the sanctity that is parenthood and family. You don't have to get pregnant just because you get married. I have a lot of married friends that feel like it isn't time for them to have children yet. I also know several couples that have struggled with infertility and would give anything to have the privilege of having and raising a child. Cameron and I were originally planning to wait much longer before we got pregnant, but after praying we felt strongly that it was time to stop waiting. On our one year anniversary we were six months pregnant. This is what was right for us, but is not right for everyone. The decision to start a family, whether through marriage, or continuing through having children, is a personal choice, and no one has the right to judge others for that choice, though we as a society do it all the time.

And I'm sorry to tell you, but you'll get older (and probably gain a few pounds) regardless of whether or not you're married, so you might as well do it with the person who will help you, support you, and make you happy and build your self esteem.

Marriage, especially at a young age may not be for everyone. It is a huge commitment, and shouldn't be taken lightly, or thought of as temporary. But I know that for some people, including myself, it was the right choice. Marriage can be tons of fun and bring deep and lasting happiness. You get to spend every day with your best friend, you can find yourself and become your best self, and do it all with your biggest fan and the person who loves you no matter what.

I know that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God. I know that families are part of his plan. I am grateful for that knowledge. I'm grateful for my husband who loves and supports me in everything that I do. I'm so glad that I can make him happy and help lift him us the way he does for me.

6 comments:

  1. Love you girlie! Thanks for sharing such a loving attitude.

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  2. couldn't have said it better myself. AMEN sista!!

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  3. Great post Dana, you guys are so great!

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